If you enter into a contest on Facebook, you'll be guaranteed to receive a free Palmer's cocoa butter stretch mark care sample. As a kid, I thought stretch marks came from stretching too much before exercising. When I learned the truth, I conveniently ignored it so that I could continue to have a reason not to work out.
They make you confirm your email address, so get that freebie email account fired up.
[thanks to everyone who sent this in!]