However, while it's your breathing, you could argue these freebies are more for your bedmate than yourself. While I'm happy to improve my sleep in any way possible, a lack of breathing hasn't been the major complaint of most of my ex-girlfriends. Instead, I apparently have an excess of talking. It's why I'd make a horrible spy, as I'd be giving away state secrets every night at 3am.
What I'm saying is where can I get a freebie to muzzle my mouth?
[thanks to Patricia for sending this in!]