Free Supplements

Free supplements pop up from time to time. Below are a list of past free supplement and vitamins that we've found, stretched back about a decade. I've also included a few of the random jokes we made along the way! 🙂


There's a small “free samples” button in the lower right that allows you to request free Nordic Naturals supplements. You get to choose between a Wellness, Pet Essential, and a Child Pack. Now we get to wait 6 to 8 weeks then have our kids down some mystery pills sent in the mail by strangers!


According to a panel of experts consisting of me, the slogan for free Beast nutrition supplement is “AHHHHHH, A BEAST, RUUUUUUN!”


With this free Everlast supplement, you get to choose from Energy or Recovery. I went with recovery, because I'm hoping that if I use it despite not exercising, maybe I can trick my body into thinking I exercised. It's part of my long-term goal to get in shape without ever working out.

I'd be happy to share my results so far, but that will have to wait for later as I'm getting winded typing this post.


Today's free Basic Greens sample is a nutritional supplement that claims to have 15 servings of vegetables and fruit in every glass. Clearly they've industrialized the Honey, I Shrunk The Kids shrink ray. At least that's the only explanation I've got as to how they cram over two dozen servings of greens into a 9 gram bag.


If this free Rage supplement isn't a supplement, that means we're getting free rage. I don't want to speak for everyone, but I'm happy with my current low levels of burning anger.


Costco is offering a free Align Probiotic supplement, which is … I have no idea. And that's after spending 10 minutes Googling “probiotic.” No matter what link I clicked, I kept ending up at its Wikipedia page for a few minutes before realizing my eyes had glazed over. I'm not even paying attention right now. Am I still typing? I should probably hit the Publish button.


If you woke up this morning feeling a bit light on calcium and you haven't fully committed to going green by replacing your lawnmower with a cow, then sign up for some free Cal-EZ calcium supplements.


Ohhhh, this free Align Probiotic supplement contains B. infantis 35624 instead of last year's B. infantis 35623? That's the newest software update! I think it added wifi capabilities.


These free Nature's Bounty adult gummies reminded me of my youthful supplement: Flintstones vitamins. Those suckers were amazing and frankly I didn't believe they were healthy since they tasted like candy. In fact, I blame them for my current addiction to M&Ms.

To add insult to injury, they didn't even come through on their promise. I thought if I ate enough, I could power my first car like Fred did in the cartoon. Imagine my shock when I learned I couldn't run fast enough after I'd cut the bottom out of my car.


This free Curamin dietary supplement has both curcuminoids and Boswellia, so you know it's gonna be good!

I actually read that last ingredient as “boll weevils” and thought to myself, “well, that's one way to lose some weight.” I know, it's shocking that I'm not a licensed doctor.


Very few freebie forms contain a salutations field, but this free Nature's Bounty fish oil is one of the exceptions. I enjoy it because it's the only time I get to go by Dr. Goob.


It'll take 4-6 weeks for our free Theanine Serene supplements to arrive, so that'll give me plenty of time to Google “what is theanine” and “do I need theanine?” and “can theanine give me super powers?” You know, all the important questions.


This free Natrol Welcome Pack comes with free samples of their supplements or medicine or vitamins or whatever it is they sell. I don't get how companies can give away free meds like this. It's obviously not prescription strength (right?!), but still, it baffles my poor little mind. Then again, so does El Nino and mirrors, so what do I know? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go try and kill my evil twin who always taunts me in the bathroom.

Previous Samples

These are the types of supplements you can expect as freebies.

  • Airborne
  • Align Priobotic
  • Avoca
  • Basic Greens
  • Beast Nutrition
  • Cal ez Calcium
  • Curamin
  • Drinkables Liquid
  • Everlast
  • Firstshake
  • Lactaid
  • Mid Night Sleep
  • Musclegel
  • Nature's Bounty
  • Nordic Naturals
  • Theanine
  • Voots

20 comments on “Free Supplements”

  1. Funny! I was all excited! Thought they came out with a supplement that helped reduce rage – got a couple teens that could use that!

    Reply
  2. You are too funny! It’s great to see you are keeping up your sense of humor through all of this. Now please rest. We will all be here when you are feeling better.

    Reply
  3. I can’t poop without probiotics. Probiotics are very important. They help keep a yeast infection from coming back and are very good for your intestines.

    Reply
  4. goob…You are hilarious!!! You are the reason i keep coming back to this site
    (lol or at least the 2nd reason…freebies first)

    Reply
  5. I am a Canadian and cannot use most of these, but I actually come on here to read his comments, as he is absolutely hilarious. Hope you got your evil twin…

    Reply
  6. Goob….Dude…..You need to get your doctor to up your dosage……Seeing an evil twin = a carving knife away from a really bad scene. 😉

    Reply

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