Two years ago NASA offered to send your name to the moon. Now they're willing to blast your face into space! Sure, it's not a traditional freebie that comes in the mail, but I can't resist having my face float amongst aliens.
I fear it's the closest I'll ever come to traveling off our planet on account of my fear of heights. Plus, there's the fact that I'm vastly under qualified nor am I a rich Russian oligarch who can buy my way up there. But I'm sticking with the whole heights issue as my main obstacle.
Free tea samples have been around forever. They're inexpensive, lightweight to ship, and taste delicious!
Below you'll find some of the older jokes for all the various tea samples we've found over the years!
I really enjoyed the previous free Yogi tea sample that I received. However, I'm not sure if it was because the tea tasted great or because it gave me the perfect excuse to walk around talking like Yogi Bear and repeatedly saying “pic-a-nic basket.”
It's all fun and games until you start to think you're smarter than the average bear. Long story short, we may be smarter, but geez can they run fast. They can even snarl at you while running! And the claws! You don't have to be too smart to know how to use those things.
For all your tea drinkers out there, here is a freebie you might enjoy. Now this isn't Yogi tea as in Yogi The Bear, because that would just be sick and twisted if somebody had actually gone out, captured him, and then turned him into tea. But no, thankfully this is just a brand of tea that lets you pick from four different packages of flavored tea.
I never did get around to learning the Chinese language, so I can only hope that this free Zhong Guo Cha Chinese tea doesn't translate to “free horrendously bad tasting Chinese tea.” Sure, the odds are slim, but you never know. My buddy once got a tattoo of a symbol he thought meant “courage” only later to discover it meant *We're sorry, but we here at the FCC have censored this content and will soon be fining the author $250,000. Sorry for the inconvenience.*
I know, right? His own mom disowned him after hearing about that!
In order to get your free Celestial Tea, you have to become a fan on Facebook and take a short quiz beforehand. But it's totally worth it for some space tea.
I qualified for Mandarin Duck, which I sincerely hope is not a reflection of its contents.
I'm not quite sure what happened just now. I started with saying free Wild Minis tea repeatedly while trying to think of a joke. I somehow ended up daydreaming about an evil wild manatee wrecking havoc off the eastern seaboard.
I've taken an odd liking to tea recently, which is even stranger when you consider how loyal I once was to coffee. But there's something calming about watching the water boil before steeping a strong cup of tea in the morning. I guess that explains why I'm so excited over this free Teekanne tea.
I personally went with Triple Mint Tranquility, but only because its acronym is one letter off from TMNT. I should probably stop making decisions based on my memory of childhood cartoons. Otherwise, it's only a matter of time before I have a son and name him Egon.
There's nothing better than starting the day off with a steaming mug of free Suffuse tea. Well, I guess waking up to find a million dollars scattered across your floor would be better. But then you'd probably freak out wanting to know where it came from.
Unfortunately I've got three words for you: Sleepwalking crime spree. I know, I thought I knew you well too, but turns out your a crazed bank robber every night!
This free FIX energy tea seems right up my alley. My lesser known nickname is Mr. Vila as I can't help myself. I see something broken and there's no stopping me from making it right. Why just last weekend my kitchen table was giving me trouble so I borrowed a chainsaw and yada yada I now eat my meals on the floor. I guess tables are just a little too fancy for me right now.
I tend to work late into the night. If for some odd reason I'm not drinking bourbon, I tend to drink coffee. But I recently discovered this amazing new beverage. It's called “tea” (pronounced like the letter T) and it's great! It's hot, it's tasty, and it doesn't make you stay up until dawn. Go grab some of this free Lipton Black Tea and check it out! Just don't be fooled by the picture above. You can drink it from the comfort of your home, you don't have to lean out the window like a weirdo.
Today is National Iced Tea Day, which is something that shouldn't exist, but whatever. To celebrate, there was a free bottle of Lipton Iced Tea offer on Facebook, but the signup form keeps crashing. So what now? Well, luckily you're a Hiffer and can go straight to the coupon printing page!
I love occasionally subverting freebies – it's the only time I get to feel like a rebel. I even have a leather jacket and motorcycle for the occasion. Though getting the bike into my living room is a real pain.
The free Lipton tea & honey drink mix Facebook offer comes in one packet. That saves us the burdensome step of mixing honey into our tea, but it also robs us of the wonderful pleasure of squirting honey directly into our mouths. There's always a catch…
I have a solid morning routine that I'm apprehensive to tweak, even if that means forgoing my three free Tea Monger teabags. You don't just tamper willy nilly with such a tried and true formula as mine. Wake up, snooze, wake up again, snooze again, finally roll out of bed once 80 year old neighbors begin yelling at the early morning commercials, shower, laugh at the thought of shaving, stick head out window to check weather, remember I work from home, flip a coin to decide whether or not to get dressed, brew the first of 10 cups of coffee, start working, and finally have friend call at noon to make sure I didn't go back to bed.
See! Pretty darn close to perfection if you ask me.
I normally don't post these types of offers (more on that below), but this free Lipton Tropical iced tea wants us to “sample a trending beverage.”
Oh la la, Mr. Fancy Pants over here with his trending beverage. I bet he gets all the ladies with such a hot and fashionable drink. I remember dreaming as a wee little Goob that one day I might be cool enough to get my beverage trending on Twitter. And here we are. My, what an age we live in.
Last month's free Lipton tea & honet drink mix offer is back. Prepare to be refreshed in 6-8 weeks, assuming you enjoy tea, honey, mango, and pineapple flavors mashed together!
Actually, that drink above looks horrible. Who wants giant leaves in their drink? And call me crazy, but I think those chunks of pineapple shell might scratch going down.
Here's a free Lipton Tea & Honey To Go offer that's Mango Pineapple flavored. So why do they call the brand Tea & Honey? Who knows, you should ask them. While you're at it, inquire as to why nobody in their industry can properly pour a beverage. Look at that image above. That tea is going everywhere. They're making a freaking mess.
Hey, look, it's the free Lipton Tea & Honey To Go offer again. Honey seems like a weird thing to want on the go. Every time I eat honey, I get it all over my hands and have to spend 10 minutes washing it off.
My Internet has been down all day, so I'm tethering to my phone right now. Some would complain about sluggish speed, but I for one enjoy the occasional throwback, like today's two free Lipton tea k-cups from Walmart. It's fun pretending I'm on AOL again! Now where are all the chat rooms?
Today's free Lipton natural energy tea offer just hit the market. As luck would have, I'm drinking some energy tea right now! However we call it “coffee” where I'm from down south.
The classic free Twinings tea offer has returned, so you know what that means! At least I hope you do. I can't figure it out.
Eucerin has given samples away for years. In fact, they released six different freebies during our inaugural 2006 season! Sadly they're not longer a freebie stable, but we're all invited to “build a stronger first line of defense” with these free Eucerin lotion samples and coupons. Don't fall for it! A strong padlock, loud dog, and bazooka are all better defenses than body lotion. I don't see how squirting a burglar with body lotion would get him to flee. That is unless he broke in to steal your lotion!
Here are some samplings of freebies past.
Old HIF Jokes
This offer reminded me of how silly silent letters are. My last name starts with a silent E and it's pointless. Sure, they can be fun when convincing children that cat is spelled with four silent Qs, but beyond that, what's the point? Somebody should get to work on eliminating those.
Exactly how far can this free Eucerin lotion go in repairing dry skin? Sometimes you hear people refer to skin as leathery and long story short I scuffed up my leather jacket last winter and need to fix it.
Oh brother. In order to get a free Eucerin Daily Skin Balance lotion, you have to take the “Skin First Pledge” and put the health of your skin first! In other words, just like them and then fill out the form.
I hate empty, hollow pledges and promises that companies try to get people to make. It's like elementary school all over again. Tell ya what, let's all make a pledge never to make a vapid pledge to a company. Although that might go against my anti-pledge pledge and the more I say “pledge” the weirder it sounds. Pledge. Pledge. Am I even saying it correctly now?
Now this is how you do a freebie! Make it abundantly clear that the offer is for free Eucerin Daily Skin Balance lotion, put the signup form on the first page, and keep it short by only asking for my name and address. The only way this could be easier would be if the freebie was immediately delivered through your computer monitor. But that's just crazy talk. Everybody knows the government won't release insta-teleportation technology for another three decades.
Ahh…I think I've said too much.
The Eucerin Facebook page is asking people to take the Healthy Skin Pledge again in exchange for two free lotion samples. This is perfect for expressing my rebellious side. Since I'm too scared to break the law, I long ago resorted to breaking pointless promises.
You should have seen me in the 5th grade. My DARE officer ranted that medicine could be a drug, so I went to town that week and took an extra Flintstones vitamin every day. Just thinking it makes my heart race. I should get a leather jacket and motorcycle. Do they make training wheels for those?
I think I've broken more pledges in the name of freebies than in anything else in life. And that includes all the elementary school pledges that I was forced to sign. Facebook's free Eucerin Daily Protection moisturizing lotion wants me to “pledge to make skincare a priority for me, my family, and my friends.” Yeah, that's not gonna happen. I get enough crap from my friends. I'm not about to give them more ammo by calling out of the blue to inquire about their skin's moisture levels.
I guess these free Lowe's Build & Grow Clinic are every weekend now, because tomorrow from 10-11am they'll be building a free flower planter. After your finished playing Bob The Builder, head over to Toys R Us from 11am 1-pm for a free Thomas the Tank Engine event.
Okay, I had to put my cat down this morning, so I'm not feeling the funny today. She was a fantastic, old kitty who loved sunning all morning, sleeping on our chests at night, and slyly letting the dogs get close enough to almost sniff her butt before smacking their heads at any hour of the day. In other words, she spent 19 years rockin' out. She'll be dearly missed in the Goob household, but damn, you could not have asked for a better cat.
These free True Lemon drink mix samples used to be a staple in the freebie world when HIF launched in 2005. The freebie spigot shut off around 2010, however I've recently discovered they're back for certain groups. If you're a member of any of the following organizations, you can request a sample here.
Healthcare Facility
Healthcare Professional
Health Club
School
Group
Event
Other
Every day I drink enough water to fill a small pool, but it can get a bit bland. Enter True Lemon. It's a much better alternative to my past method of spicing things up, which was to actually put Tabasco sauce in my water. Let's just say: lesson learned.
While these freebies aren't currently available, here's their free active coupons on Kotex's site. I've also included a few jokes from over the years, plus listed what used to be available just in case it comes back!
Truth Time: For years, I've always mentally interpreted the free U by Kotex sample packs as a University. As in the University of Kotex, where they were teaching women how to use tampons or something. I don't know, I never really gave it much thought. What do you expect from a single guy in his thirties?
But it wasn't until today that I typed the title above and suddenly went “ohhhh, U as in they make products just for you, no matter who you are!” I'm a slow learner.
Or … is it subliminal messaging … “you buy Kotex” … 🤔
These free U by Kotex samples got me wondering what my mail lady must think I do. One day I'm getting seemingly normal freebies for a single guy in his twenties and the next I'm getting Parents magazine and a box of Kotex items. Sure, I could try talking to her, but I still haven't found a smooth way of saying, “oh, by the way, I don't actually use all of those tampons!”
This freebie includes the following samples:
1 U by Kotex CleanWear Regular Pad
1 U by Kotex barely there Liner
2 U by Kotex Click Regular Tampons
After reading everything I'll get via this free Kotex sample offer, I've come to one conclusion: I'm going to make a horrible husband. My future wife is going to need me to go buy her some feminine products one day and I promise you I'm going to mess it up. Thank goodness I'm not easily embarrassed or there would be no hope for me. I'll have an easier time trying to decipher the Rosetta Stone than I would successfully shopping for my significant other. I better hope she really likes my dimples or I'm screwed.
I don't know why but I found the free U by Kotex sample pack's confirmation message to be highly enjoyable – “the goods are on their way.” I don't know why we don't refer to freebies as “the goods” more often. Saying I was hunting for goods all day long sounds a lot better than “Oh, I spent a few hours looking for free tampons.”
Too bad there's nothing there which I can use. Unless those items with wings actually function as wings. I've always wanted to fly south for the winter!
Similar to tea samples, free coffee samples have been a popular freebie given away since I started Hey, It's Free. Thankfully, as of 2020, they're still frequently offered, even by big companies! Dunkin gave away samples of their coffee just a few months ago and Folgers seems to release an offer at least once a year.
While we wait for the next giveaway, here are some of our free coffee japes from the archives.
This free coffee booster offer has been around for a few days. Gotta say, if your coffee leaves you feeling like it needs a boost, either you need some new coffee or you're probably drinking tea.
When I first saw this free Berres Brothers coffee, I confused it with De Beers. Let's just say I wasn't too excited about drinking diamonds.
I had some trouble signing up for free Cafe Bustelo coffee on Facebook, but I think it's worth the hassle. Look at how happy those people are! They're either so in love with this coffee that the mere thought of it makes them want to dance or they're on drugs. I'm pretty sure those are the only two explanations. Either way, I'm in!
I have a brother named Thomas so I gave him a call after seeing the free Thomas coffee offer. I asked him questions like how much and what flavor of coffee we'd be getting. He wasn't too helpful though and in fact only screamed obscenities at me for waking him up at four in the morning. Oh, well excuse me for not memorizing your darn sleeping patterns!
I've never heard of this free Marley One Love organic coffee before. They use “100% Ethiopian Yirgacheffe coffee beans,” so that really clears things up for us.
Walmart is giving away free Maxwell House k-cup coffee. Thankfully you don't have to be named Maxwell or live in a house in order to get this!
If you skipped the old offer for free Green Mountain coffee last time because you don't have a Keurig machine, then you'll be happy to know I was wrong. I previously “reported”” that it was in k-cup form only, but you can request ground coffee instead.
Thanks to all the Hiffers who pointed this out! Now could one of you could tell me where the heck I left my jacket? It's cold now and it's getting kind of ridiculous walking around the streets with a Ninja Turtles comforter wrapped around me.
Kroger and their related stores are offering free Skinny Cow Creamy Iced Coffee to those of us who somehow believe eating Skinny Cow products will make us skinny.
*slowly raises hand*
In order to get free PurPod coffee k-cups, we're supposed to wait for an email. But why wait when I've got the link right here for you?
It's like when you go to the dentist. Sure, you could sit in the lobby waiting for your name to be called, but what is this, the 1950s? Everybody knows the fastest way to get in and out is to simply walk on back and start cleaning your own teeth in the first open room you find.
Plus I've yet to find a cavity. Woohoo, perfect record!
If you've ever texted an emoji to a friend or loved one and thought to yourself “gee, I sure would love to drink some coffee based on this funny face,” then I've got some great news for you! There's a new brand of java on the market and they're giving away free Emoji K-Cup coffee samples for a limited time.
Sign up and go from 😴 to 😲 in 4 to 6 weeks.
Look for the image above in order to get some free Peet's Major Dickason's coffee. The true story behind this sample's name is a bit tame, so I like to picture a battalion of soldiers trying to subdue their enemy with coffee grenades and deadly creamer.
Target's site is bogged down at the moment. Or heck, maybe it's just not working in Chrome. Either way, there's something between me and my free Peet's coffee k-cups and I WON'T STAND FOR THIS!
As if being able to print $10 in coupons wasn't enough, you can also print out this rebate for free World's Best cat litter. The rebate is limited to one per mailing address, but if you have a work address… I'd never heard of this brand, but it looks like Petco and Petsmart sell it, among others.
Does cat litter melt snow or clean up oil spills? I always get it and salt confused, which typically leads to an embarrassing moment when I'm on a dinner date.
Freebies like this Kotex First Period Kit remind me of how horrible I'm going to be as a parent. I can only pray that when the inevitable birds & bees discussion arises, there will already be a Sesame Street episode that explains it all.
If you take a short survey about your cell phone habits, you can get a free Harvard Business Review magazine subscription. I've never read an issue of this before, but it's described as a magazine for “business leaders” and a subscription costs $80 on Amazon!
I'm not much of a leader though. I can't even get my family to follow me in going caroling. They keep using the same tired, old excuses of “we can't sing” and “it's too cold” or “hey, Goob's had enough eggnog, let's throw him in the snow and see how long he can last.”
It's been seven months since we last posted the free BeingGirl sample kit, but lo and behold this freebie is still kicking. Not literally, which is good because I have weak shins.
Apparently there are these ancient relics published on a daily basis called nerspeppers – am I saying that right? Nooselabors? Nudeslayers? Oh, newspapers, gotcha – and one fine establishment in Los Angeles is offering a free download for Pixar's Up soundtrack by using the code latimesdisney before midnight tonight. The entire download consists of 23 songs and runs just under 50 minutes of play time.
It's not quite like watching the movie, but it's the next best thing. Track number nine is even called “Kevin Beak'n.” Heh heh heh, oh my, I love a good pun. In fact, my favorite SQUIRREL!
