Please remember not to print the image above as that's my coupon for Maggie Moo's birthday freebie. Besides, it's not like your name is Ryan, now is it? Unless it is. Either way, stop screwing up my lesson! What was I saying again?
I'm lucky I don't live close to a store where I can redeem my Which Wich birthday freebie because I would be banned and possibly beaten within minutes. There's just no way around the fact that I would launch into a custom Who's on First routine with which, wich, wiches, and witch.
Whenever I'm looking for ambient or random soundtrack styled music, I don't really listen to soundtracks. I'd rather just pop on some Explosions in the Sky or maybe just go all avant garde with some Miles Davis or Coltrane.
But for some people who think that the cake isn't a lie, I'm sure they'd enjoy this free Portal 2 soundtrack. Me? I'd rather stick with those who tell the truth shall die, or those who tell the truth shall live forever…
Oh man, that image above for the Orange Julius birthday freebie looks like a coupon some people will print. Don't do that. Instead sign up on their site and they'll send you a coupon around your birthday.
It's like a birthday miracle! Or, you know, an efficient e-mail marketing system.
I don't see how birthday cakes could every be out, but the Logan's Roadhouse birthday freebie wants to make the case they are. Normally I'd ignore such blasphemy, but their Nutter Butter Fudgeslide not only sounds spectacular but comes in a bucket. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that food in a bucket never disappoints.
Okay, what the heck is with all these Mongolian grills? Case in point: the HuHot Mongolian Grill birthday freebie. Why is Mongolia the place we associate with grills? I thought they were all about yurts, yaks, and archery. It's not that often you hear about their knack for frying meat.
I will say they earned a hat tip for crediting us with “conquering” another year. Here I thought the only things I conquered last year were a Mega Deluxe ice cream sundae and the big slide at the school playground.
It's worth noting the rules say new members must join HuHot Rewards at least 2 weeks prior to their birthday to receive a birthday coupon. Also, if you missed your birthday reward due to the pandemic, HuHot has released a missed birthday rewards schedule.
Hey, Chevys, don't tell me I can siesta later! I'll take a nap whenever I da…zzzzzzzz
Throughout high school, I'd wish people sitting around me good luck before tests by shouting “cumpleanos!” The old Chevys Fresh Mex birthday freebie email was a nice reminder that I didn't pay attention at all in Spanish class.
Let's see if I can avoid totally botching today's Jason's Deli birthday freebie like I did yesterdays. I've re-re-re-read my birthday email to make sure I get everything correct. Okay, the place is called Jason's Deli, not Jim's. Got it. It's for $5 off any item, not $15. Good to know. Okay, let's give this a shot.
Aw, dang it. I got nothing.
Sean Spicer may hate Dippin' Dots, but I'll keep loving them as long as their Dippin' Dots birthday freebie keeps rolling on in!
You can tell that I spend more time working my retail job than even hunting at all because when I see the name “Henry,” I don't think of this free Henry rifle catalog and sticker. Nope. I think of hangers and visual displays.
I guess some guy named Henry was the world's first Visual Manager.
The Daphne's Greek Cafe birthday freebie wants to “treat you to a delicious meal.” Sounds good to me.
Who wants to be the first one to cleverly point out that the image above is “expired.” That's what I thought. But remember, if you want to get your very own non-expired coupon at a ton of different restaurants, all you have to do is sign up with them!
The Einstein Bros birthday freebie made me realize that I wish I knew the Einstein brothers. I don't know why, but they seem cool. I think it's their logo. I'd get along well with anybody who holds bagels up to their face like monocles.
Judging from the emails I'm still getting, I have to remind people: don't print out the picture above. Go to their website, sign up, and they'll email you your very own coupon. Also, we have a full list of free birthday food!
