Hey, It’s Free!

EDIT: The good news is this freebie lasted much longer than most Walmart freebies. The bad news is that it’s now dead.

Walmart is giving away some free Pamprin for all of our menstrual cramping needs. This is just a pain reliever tailored for women, right? I tried something similar before and it cleared up my migraine, but I’ve always been afraid to take it too much because I’m not sure if it’ll turn me into a girl. I probably should have paid a little more attention in science class.

Look, I know I’m not really old, but could somebody please do me a favor and tell that to my body? I always thought I’d spend my 20s gallivanting around the world and creating wild memories that will last a lifetime. Instead, I’ve used the phrase “sorry guys, I probably shouldn’t. I might pull out my back or something” three times this week.

Now all of a sudden my metabolism has vanished and I have to start watching what I eat? Sure, this free Splenda for my coffee might be good for me, but where’s the fun in it?

Michael Moore has a new movie called Slacker Uprising out and he’s giving it away for free. No matter what your opinion of him is, you have to admit that free movies are awesome. Now if Orville Redenbacher wanted to give away some free popcorn, we’d be in business here.

To download the movie, simply go to the link above, give them your e-mail address, and you’ll then be sent a link to download the movie from. Couldn’t be easier and at the very least, now you’ll have something to do when your Internet dies for no particular reason! *shakes fist angrily at Comcast*

I swear I’m losing my mind. I was talking to a friend and mentioned how I’d posted this free Alterna shampoo earlier this morning. He claimed he had no idea what I was talking about and thus ensued a 30 minute argument. Guess who lost that one.

I guess the real focus should be why two dudes were talking about shampoo. Do me a favor and forget I mentioned it.

[via the forums]

EDIT: This is no longer available.

It took a mere 56 hours without high-speed Internet to turn me from an upstanding citizen to being curled in the fetal position under the covers. I’m still not even sure it’s back. Is this a dream? I’m hallucinating, aren’t I? I knew it was too good to find another Schick razor freebie. Yesterday Adam posted a Titanium freebie (which I made a freebie review of last year) and now I’ve found a free Schick Intuition razor.

Does this mean I have to shave my legs now? I’m not saying I can’t pull it off, but I’d rather not try.

I don’t really shave often, seeing I’ve got a desk job with a fairly casual dress code, but when I do, I think I only change my razor whenever a new freebee pops up. Especially with the fact that there are 5 and 4 blade razors now. So why buy something when I can get a new one for free every two to three months?

And here comes another one with this free Schick Quattro Titanium razor. Now, I’ll just have to start looking again in another 2-3 months… Of course, why bother then, seeing it’ll be winter then. Maybe I should just grow a beard and not have to worry about it…

[via the forums]

I promise I’ll start posting these a few days in advance, but if you’re bored today and live near a participating museum, you can get in for free. You can print your free card here and the fine print says each card allows entry for two people. Additional rules:

• One time use on Saturday, September 27, 2008.
• Card must be presented for free general admission. Admission Card will be collected upon entry.
• General admission only. Does not include entry to special exhibits or IMAX screenings.
• Admission Card is good for general admission for you plus one guest.
• One Admission Card per household.
• Not for use with any other offer.
• No rain checks.
• Some participating museums may already have a free admission policy year round and are participating in the “spirit” of the day.

So go! Venture out and soak in the free knowledge, culture, and enlightenment! Let me know how it goes too, because there’s no way I’m driving into D.C. today. It’s cold, rainy, and I’m still in my boxers.

I came home this morning in an extremely bad mood, but my spirits were quickly raised when my dog jumped up in my lap and started licking me. Is there anything better than a dog? Maybe a dog that barks out $100 dollar bills, but I don’t think scientists have identified the needed genetic mutations for that yet.

Since my dog’s so awesome (and I’m sure yours is as well), I’m going to reward her with this free Mighty dog food. They’ll send you a coupon to use the next time you go to the store. As a matter of fact, there are a few additional pet product coupons located here, so give them a look over as well.

[via Mindy]

I’m loving how other sites are helping to bridge the gap between now and when I get more HIF stickers. First it was the One Vote sticker and now it’s these free Keep the Net Free stickers. My personal favorite is the third one with the guy shaking his fist at an unforeseen enemy. Fist shaking is a dieing art form and highly underrated. Such a wide array of emotions can be displayed with a fist shake, from anger to detest to “I really want to punch you with this first right here.”

Sometimes I get early notification of a specific freebie that’s only available on a given day. I usually just put a sticky note about it on my desk and wait until it’s closer before I post it. But this free Cold Stone ice cream offer has been staring at me for almost a month. Every time I look at the little yellow blotch dangling off my monitor, I start to salivate and my stomach springs to life. But now I only have to wait a few more hours - it’s available TODAY ONLY from 5-8pm.

The freebie is in partnership with the Make-A-Wish Foundation and they ask that you make a donation, but there are no requirements to. The two ice cream samples you’ll be able to choose from are listed below. For more information on this freebie though, click the link above.

• Jack’s Creation - Marshmallow ice cream with OREO® Cookies, Chocolate Chips and Fudge
• Emily’s Creation - Nutter Butter® ice cream with White Chocolate Chips, Kit Kat® and Yellow Cake

[via the forums]

Rewards Gold, the folks who were giving away the free Maxim subscription earlier this week, are now giving away free U.S. News And World Report magazine subscriptions. That sound you just heard was me jumping up and down, as I’m a news freak. Actual news that is, not that cable news crap. I’ve always enjoyed “articles” longer than a few paragraphs where “reporters” did something called “reporting,” instead of just reading a press release and then letting three talking heads yell at each other.

I guess I’m old school that way.

When you need a cheap dinner, the best bet is always spaghetti. Make a big batch of it for cheap, package it up, and keep it for the full week. Heat it up a portion at the time and you’ve got a weeks worth of dinner there.

Or, you can always get this free Bertolli’s sauce pouch and spend a buck on a box of noodles and right there? A dinner or two, I’d say… Just don’t go heavy on the sauce…

[via the forums]

I think one of the best advertising campaigns on TV nowadays has to be the one from Stride gum. True, its a bit corny to have another gum claiming that they’re “long lasting,” but for once, I think its finally a gum that is… or at least in my experiences.

Needless to say, they’re getting all legal on your… with their new website where you can register for a free pack of Stride gum. Just click on the “Settle” button and click through the pictures and at the end of it all, you can put in your address and tell them which of three flavors you’d like. Not bad, huh?

Just look out for dancing giant rams when you get it, I guess…

[via the forums]

EDIT: This is no longer available, but they are now offering a free subscription to Vibe.

This free Maxim Magazine subscription looks a little spammy to me, but after filling out all the info, I got a confirmation message and that was it. No “requirements” to sign up for trials or confirm my e-mail or crap like that, so who knows. It’s worth 30 seconds to give it a shot.

That is, unless you don’t think 30 seconds of your time is worth a free year’s subscription that sells for $10. That means you make at least $10.01 per 30 seconds, equating to $20.02 per minute and $1,201.2 per hour.

Forget the excessive napkin math; can we please trade jobs?

Seeing as how the next batch of HIF stickers are taking forever to arrive, how about you get this free One Person, One Vote bumper sticker to tide you over?

I’ll clarify that I have no idea what their political views or affiliations are though. For all I know, this is just a front for the American Robot Party, a shadowy organization who wants to put a robot in the White House. This cannot happen, people. Just think, one small line of code and he could be programmed to start a nuclear war. You can fight the good fight though and help drain their resources by requesting the free sticker!

Yeah, I really don’t know what I’m talking about. I probably shouldn’t start drinking at 9 in the morning.