2017 Update: This freebie was original available in 2006! That makes this freebie older than most of my friendships.

I always have trouble writing a post about something like these free VCF contraceptive films. I'm not even qualified to use one of these things, much less write something witty about them. Remember the scene in 40 Year Old Virgin where Steve Carell had absolutely no idea what to do with the condoms? Yep, that's me right there.

Ladies, the line forms to the left! Single file, please!

This freebie from 2010 has returned!

If you don't mind going on a little link hunt, you can get a free NeilMed Sinus Rinse bottle kit. Simply click through to where it asks for your name and pick “p1886b” from the dropdown list. After that, you'll be presented with 17 “slides,” which you don't have to read and can quickly skip through. You'll then be presented with a signup form and finally, a “quiz” where you have to get 18 out of 20 questions correct.

The quiz scores you in real time though! So you can click randomly until you get the correct answer. All in all it should only take a few minutes.

And if NeilMed isn't your allergy spray of choice, I was able to find these Claritin allergy coupons.

You can choose between two different free Sasmar personal lubricant samples today. HIF is primarily a United States freebie site, but this offer also ships to the United Kingdom, Europe (…isn't the UK already covered by this?), and Australia. So feel free to get frisky all over the world with this offer!

There are a bunch of different free Equate and Assurance PurseReady sample packs available. Depending on which category you fall under, you'll get anywhere from three to six freebies. The freebies also come in a little pack that's small enough to fit in most purses. Man, what a coincidence! Small enough to fit in a purse and the term “purseready” just so happens to be in the title. What are the odds?!

Similar to the always-available free Breath Right offer, these three free Snore Bore nasal strip are designed to help improve your breathing during sleep and cut down on snoring.

However, while it's your breathing, you could argue these freebies are more for your bedmate than yourself. While I'm happy to improve my sleep in any way possible, a lack of breathing hasn't been the major complaint of most of my ex-girlfriends. Instead, I apparently have an excess of talking. It's why I'd make a horrible spy, as I'd be giving away state secrets every night at 3am.

What I'm saying is where can I get a freebie to muzzle my mouth?

[thanks to Patricia for sending this in!]

This free LivRelief pain relief cream is natural, fast, patented, guaranteed, and risk-free. Fantastic. I've never found much help in manufactured, slow, generic, uncertain, deadly pain cream. For some reason they always seem to cause more trouble than they're worth.