That sound you just heard was the ol' Reliability Train rumbling through town, bringing with it your annual reminder to sign up for this classic freebie!. These two free Breathe Right nasal strips have been around for so long that I think we should induct them into the Freebie Hall of Fame.
Don't get too excited though, it's not as prestigious as it sounds. It's basically a space on my bookcase where I needed some color. It sits right between a broken clock and an old t-ball trophy. I was the only kid not to punch a teammate that year!
I was actually on a team the last time I wore one of these free Breath Right nasal strips. It was back in high school on the football field. You should have seen me, I was a beast! Tirelessly running up and down the field and always hanging around with the tough guys was a recipe for instant popularity. It seemed like everybody knew and was talking about me, which always made me feel great. And the girls! Oh, the girls. They were always pointing at me and laughing – no doubt thinking of a hilarious joke I'd recently told in class.
I probably didn't need to wear full football gear to be the water boy, but people were always throwing good luck charms at me, like empty beer bottles. Sure, they hurt whenever they hit my head, but the more they threw, the faster I ran, and the more hydrated our team was! What great fans, huh?!
I never learn what happens if you wear ten Breathe Right's at once? Does that give you ten times the amount of oxygen you'd normally get? Don't worry, I plan on testing this out in the interest of science / filling a lazy Thursday afternoon.