Hey, It’s Free!

Is there a vitamin for taking too many vitamins? If so, I need to find it and subscribe a dose for a few of my family members. Remember how in X-Men or Heroes all of the mutant humans were explained as having evolved? Yeah, I think some of the people I know are hoping to speed up that process by taking a dump truck’s load worth of vitamins every day. And heck, I’m gonna fuel that addiction and tell them about this 14 day supply of free Nature Made vitamins.

Why? Because I’m sick of driving and walking everywhere, dang it! I was promised a hover car by this point in my life and if I can’t have one of those, I’ll settle for a family member who can fly and shoot lasers out of their eyes.

[via the forums]

I always wanted to be an explorer. The thought of finding new civilizations and uncharted lands sounded like a good time to me. Then I realized I was extremely lazy, so I went to my backup plan, which I still think is pretty darn good. There’s so much to explore in my own home! Just yesterday, I was exploring under my couch for the ancient Lost Cheese Doodle and I found a nickle! Tomorrow I plan on venturing into the mysterious Laundry Room that I’ve heard so much about. I think we can all agree the winner in this equation is me.

On, yeah, the freebie that sparked this moronic diatribe was this free Explorer’s Bounty coffee that I just found

I had never heard of World Market before, but according to their store locator they’re all over the place. I guess that means I can actually get one of these free 100% cotton tote bags.

I don’t think you actually have to print the image I linked above though. On World Market’s main website, they have this image that simply says come on into their store and get a free bag. So I’d use the store locator and call ahead just to make sure of the specifics. I hate it when a company’s website has conflicting instructions! But I try not to complain, because, hey…it’s free!

[via Moose]

EDIT: Hope y’all got the tacos, because this is dead now.

I’m glad I just heard about this one, because it’s good for today only. If you bring in a gas receipt to any Jack In The Box restaurant, you can get two free tacos. I’ve never had a Jack In The Box taco, but who knows, maybe they’re awesome. Here’s a store locator if you’re not sure whether or not you have a joint nearby.

[via pbchicknz]

I’m not sure if this free GOJO hand cleaner is a Canadian freebie only, but it accepted my US mailing address so I guess we’ll see. I remember my dad always kept something similar to this in the garage (heck, it might actually have been this stuff!) and it will take ANYTHING off your hands. It really smells like citrus as well, to the point where it seems like you’re just rubbing a smashed up orange all over your hand. You know, if fruit prices weren’t so high, I’d go get my hands dirty and see if a smashed up orange would clean them. Instead, I’m just gonna eat it and be thankful I held off scurvy for another day.

EDIT: Dead now

One of the drawbacks from watching all 5 seasons of The Wire over the course of a month is that it makes you want to smoke a cigar. I’m not sure what the cigar ratio was in scenes where Bunk was walking around, but I’m pretty sure it was 1:1. Thankfully, I can get my fix through this free cigar offer and get this out of my system.

Oh, and I put this in “Health / Fitness” since it didn’t fit anywhere else and I was too lazy to create a “Bodily Harm” category.

I seem to remember that the last time these free American Greeting cards from Wal Mart were around, they sent out three different samples. Who knows if that’s what they’ll do this time as well, but on the off chance that somebody in charge of this freebie is reading HIF right now, I’d like to make my pitch as a Greeting Card Author. I think I’d be great at it and have included a few samples of my work below:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey look over there, That cow just said moo.

That could be used as a fun road trip card. Or maybe for cow enthusiasts! But what about a more intimate card? Oh, I’ve got just what you need:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Something something something, I love you!

See, the three somethings throws the reader off. They’re like, “Huh? What the crap?” But then the ending makes them feel better!

I’ll be awaiting your response and will accept payment in the form of burlap sacks stuffed with cash.

[via Cara]

Well friends, hello! It’s well into the second week of a hot start to June for me here in PA. (Goob: oops, I took a while to post this!) Suffering 93 degree days already where the opening of my door to retrieve the mail leaves a person needing a shower…its so much fun! Going out in this kind of heat requires being frozen in ice if it lasts that long and the age old ritual of frying an egg on the sidewalk just to prove it works takes place. No matter how hot the day though, freebies are the main mail objective for the day. When I’m home I wait for the clang of the mailbox lid. So as I find my unreliable mail lady wobbling down my side walk, arm full of freebies making her day oh soooooo hard, I laugh. I wait for her to read each piece of mail hating me more and more because of my obsession. Bringing in the mail I see my next freebie review.

(more…)

I’m not sure what I’m happier about: a free sample of Stride gum (which is AWESOME!) or the excuse this freebie gives me to link to this fantastic video. I’ve been a fan of “Dancing Matt” ever since his first video a few years ago and I find it kinda cool that the very company which sponsored his last two trips around the globe is also giving away some gum! It doesn’t hurt that my favorite gum to begin with is Stride, so go snag yourself a freebie and just watch that video over and over until it arrives.

A friend of mine told me about this one in class and after hearing about it? Oh man, this might be the coolest free service that I’ve heard of in a long time.

ChaCha is a text messaging service that if you have a question? You just ask them. Just text your question to 242242 and they’ll send you a text message with the answer within the next few minutes (varies with the time of day). Believe me, I asked them about woodchucks chucking wood, airspeed of unladen swallows (african AND european), and George Carlin’s certain family unfriendly words. And I got good answers back. Of course, I did ask some serious questions tonight too, but those are never the fun ones… You can also get weather and stocks from them too for wherever you happen to be.

The online aspect is cool as well. You register and tell them your cell phone and then online you can access your most recent questions if you happen to be away from your phone as well as ask questions from your computer too.

Needless to say, standard text messaging rates apply, but it makes a good time killer when you’re running around on the go and need to know information… Or if you really needed to know things about swallows…

[via the forums with thanks to my friend Amrah]

EDIT: Be sure to check out the comments and leave your opinion on this freebie. Have you signed up for it in the past? What’d you get if anything?

I’m not too sure what all goes into planning for a new child to come into this world, nor am I sure that I could handle it. I have trouble remembering how to put on my own pants. Remember Goob, it’s feet first and zipper in the back! Or is it zipper in the front? Ugh, not again… Thus, if I ever found myself expecting a baby, I’d sign up for some free baby stuff, (WHICH WOULD BE AWESOME if it wasn’t spam - check out the comments) which is for expecting mothers and fathers who have had a child within the past 11 months or are expecting one in the next 9 months.

I didn’t sign up for this (since I’m not expecting and don’t want to “waste” a freebie on me), so I’m not too sure what all you’ll get in this, but they promise a whole lot. But even if it’s simply a booklet of coupons or some diaper samples, it helps, right? If anybody qualifies and signs up for this, let us know what you get via the comments!

EDIT: Aaaaaaand, it’s dead.

Not only can you get some free Pledge Multi Surface Spray & Wipes, but I’m pretty sure they’ll send you a few coupons as well. This is great for me, because I haven’t cleaned my desk since Clinton was in office. I wouldn’t be surprised if a new breed of intelligent life has grown out of all the dust on my desk. Too bad they’re about to get wiped away in 6 to 8 weeks! Let’s just hope they don’t invent any laser weapons by then and attack me.

[via Moose]

EDIT: I’m getting e-mails saying Toys R Us isn’t accepting this coupon now. Has anybody managed to get this to work for them?

You know those weekends where so much happens that it feels like you crammed 10 days worth of stuff into two? Yeah, that’s what I just went through. It feels like it should be Friday already and yet it’s Monday? Doh. I think I’ll go to Toys R Us and use this coupon to get a free Thomas The Tank Engine toy. Then I’ll play with it all day while trying to figure out how much money I recently spent, how I ended up with a goat in my truck, and why the heck was I at the airport at 3am?

On second thought, these are probably mysteries that are better left unsolved. I’m not sure I want to actually remember any of that. Oh, and the coupon expires July 5th, 2008 so hurry up!

[via Froggie]

I wrote about this free Ultra XCID antacid last March, but the link back then is now dead and this is a new one, so…yeah. I actually just reread that previous post I wrote and it’s kinda funny. Not too long, a few quick jokes, a crazy tangent that doesn’t make sense. It’s the complete opposite of this post, which is bland, doesn’t have a single joke, and basically serves no point after the first sentence. But now you’ve already read this far, you’re not going to stop until you finish, and heck if I’m gonna apologize. Sucker!

[via Free Samples Direct]

Start Sampling is giving away a free coupon booklet worth over $31 that I can’t help but feel like I’ve posted on here before. But I just scanned through the coupons section and didn’t see it, so maybe my memory is incorrect yet again. I fear that by the time I’m 70, I’ll honestly “remember” riding on dinosaurs as a kid and a time where humans had wings.

Oh, about the coupons though. The coupons are for products from Iams, Febreze, Dawn, Cascade, and more. Who knows what the actual coupons are for, but let’s all sign up find out together!