Hey, It’s Free!

I seem to remember that the last time these free American Greeting cards from Wal Mart were around, they sent out three different samples. Who knows if that’s what they’ll do this time as well, but on the off chance that somebody in charge of this freebie is reading HIF right now, I’d like to make my pitch as a Greeting Card Author. I think I’d be great at it and have included a few samples of my work below:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey look over there, That cow just said moo.

That could be used as a fun road trip card. Or maybe for cow enthusiasts! But what about a more intimate card? Oh, I’ve got just what you need:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Something something something, I love you!

See, the three somethings throws the reader off. They’re like, “Huh? What the crap?” But then the ending makes them feel better!

I’ll be awaiting your response and will accept payment in the form of burlap sacks stuffed with cash.

[via Cara]