Freebies and free stuff

EDIT: Looks like there’s a potato famine

My imagination runs wild during most of the day and I often come up with goofy scenarios. One faithful daydream is to pretend every imaginary character came to life and waged war against humans. Where would Betty Crocker fit in? Making her a cook would be too cliche. I could see her as a doctor on the front line, but the more I think about it, the more I picture her as a reporter/propaganda spinner. She seems to have a trustworthy appeal about her that I can’t quite put my finger on.

Oh, yeah, the freebie. Free Betty Crocker potatoes!

I really stink at remembering to post whenever new printable coupons are released. Sometimes I wonder how in the world I managed to graduate from college. Anyway, to the new Redplum coupons!

• $1.00 off Success Rice
• $1.50 off two Kellogg’s Frosted Mini-Wheat
• $1.00 off two Quaker Chewy Granola Bars
• $1.00 off two Quaker Grits
• $1.00 off any Formula 409 Product
• $0.75 off Sara Lee Pre-Sliced Meat
• $1.00 off two Ball Park Franks
• $1.00 off Vaseline Men Lotion

That last one isn’t new, but it’s my favorite lotion. Yes, I use lotion, my hands dry out too ya know!

Redplum’s selection is somewhat limited, but most of their coupons are high quality and they’ve even got a nice batch of exclusive ones. No printing software needs to be installed either and remember that most coupons can be printed twice! I print them once and then turn the paper around and send it back through.

I know I posted this free Nature Valley Bar & Nut Clusters offer a little over two weeks ago, but I wanted to post it again for anybody who missed it because they send you a full size sample! I got mine on Saturday and now they are no more. I’ll probably buy a bag as well since it came with a $0.75 coupon.

Some people were saying they couldn’t sign up because they were already a member of the Eat Better America newsletter. Well, you know, there’s no limit on how many email accounts you can own. *wink wink nod nod ow, I think I pulled a muscle.*

Even though the site says it’s a free issue of Baseball America magazine, I’ve been getting a free subscription for over a year now. Maybe there was a technical glitch or a clerical error, but there’s only one way to find out of you too will get a free subscription. Call your local psychic!

No wait, that’s not right. I always mess these things up!

Dear Kashi -

I know its been a while since I’ve really had cereal for breakfast. I mean, look at me now, enjoying cold homemade pizza as breakfast.

But honestly? Your three free sample options for your cereal are tempting. But I ask you this:

Do any of them have cheese, caramelized onions, or chicken sausage?

I think not.

With the NFL and NCAA football seasons starting just around the corner, it’s time to get ready for the Fall 2009 Contests. Like last year, we’re holding a pick’em contest for both leagues over on Yahoo. To play, use the links below and click the “Join Group” button. From there, enter the following info:¹

Pro Football Pick’em
Group ID#: 33386 This group is now full
Group ID#: 33727 This group is now full
Group ID#: 34409 This group is now full
Group ID#: 35625 This group is now full
Group ID#: 37032 This group is now full
Group ID#: 39259
Password: freebies

College Football Pick’em
Group ID#: 15744 This group is now full
Group ID#: 16111 This group is now full
Group ID#: 17022 This group is now full
Group ID#: 18065
Password: freebies

Both leagues will be using the spread and will drop your lowest week’s score. So if you forget to make your picks once or happen to have an especially bad week, you can still possibly win! If you’re still not sure how to play, check out Goob’s Guide to Gambling that I wrote last year.

Oh yeah, prizes! The following applies for both the college and pro leagues, so if you play in both, you double your chances of winning!

1st place: $50 giftcard to your store of choice.
2nd place: $25 giftcard to your store of choice.
Random winner² : $25 giftcard to your store of choice.

And if you feel so inclined, come talk some smack with us on the forums!³

1. There’s a 50 person limit to each group, so I’ll just keep making more groups as they fill up. Clearly, you should only join one group per league! Cheaters will be deleted! [↩]
2. Must participate in all weeks in order to be eligible for the random winner prize [↩]
3. Is anybody even reading this fine print? [↩]

EDIT: Looks like these were meant for NGOs instead of Hiffers. Oh well!

This free 4 pack of LOVE condoms is being given away be a company dedicated to fighting HIV & AIDS and I for one can’t wait to do my part in this noble cause. Nobody said using freebies was an easy job, but by golly, somebody’s got to do it!

EDIT: They’re now charging for shipping, but this is still a great offer. The shampoo is great!

I have no idea what is included in this free Dinovite Sample Kit for dog, but hopefully it’s something worthwhile. My dog recently started itching her skin so much that it became raw, so I took her to the vet earlier this week. The problem? Allergies. The cure. Benadryl. And that information only cost me $100!

I told my pup she has a month to work off the debt, but I think the message was lost in translation. Does Rosetta Stone have a program for animals yet?

While at the beach this summer, I could have used this free Ready to Read bookmark. After finishing a chapter, I wanted to go take a dip in the ocean but didn’t have a bookmark. I started to dog ear the page, but then came up the ingenious plan to make a bookmark! I grabbed a handful of sand, mashed it together tightly, and stuck it in the book.

Yeah, that didn’t work.

You’ll want to click “Online Order Form” at the bottom of the page and then simply enter your info. There are some extra fields on the form that aren’t necessary, so don’t fret.

I’m officially a Pavlovian Dog thanks to freebies. I woke up this morning, remembered that it was Friday, and instantly started salivating at the thought of a free Mars chocolate candy bar. This can’t be good news. It’s only a few weeks before they completely hypnotize me and order me to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II at a baseball game.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa….whoa. How can anybody look at this free Fancy Feast Appetizers for cats and not ask the following question: since when do cats get appetizers? I don’t even get appetizers! The day my cat starts eating better than me is the day I throw in the towel and start acting like a cat. I can lick myself whenever I want, six hour naps in the afternoon aren’t frowned upon, and free belly scratches on demand.

[via Chris - thanks!]

The free Nicoderm CQ offer is back and comes with $7 in coupons like last time. It’s a non-medicated sample though, so you’re really just getting the coupons. I wonder how many people would try it, while not knowing it’s non-medicated, and suddenly feel like it’s working. I try creating the placebo effect all the time, but it never pans out. I still get migraines despite my stubborn approach to ward them off with pixie sticks.

The free Nicorette 20-Pack gum offer is still available as well, FWIW.

I wonder if this free Human Rights Campaign bumper sticker will really work. On the one hand, it’ll be nice to slap on my truck and proudly display that I’m a fan of human rights. On the other hand, the only people who will see it will be those whom I just cut off in traffic. Will it potentially calm down the enraged driver behind me? I sure hope so!

I have an alternative solution to the ongoing health care debate: everyone should be entitled to Freebie Therapy. The Government should send everyone random freebies, and the world would be a happier place. I’m living proof: I’ve been in a crappy mood all day, and then after coming home and checking my mail, my mood has significantly improved! I guess a free granola bar or body wash might not cure all ailments, but it does make everything a little better, right?

Groceries:

Cinnabon: 55 cents off Cinnabon cereal

7-Up: $1.00 off a 12-pack of 7-up (any flavor)

Litehouse: $1.00 off 2 Litehouse products

Ronzoni: $1.00 off 2 boxes of Ronzoni Healthy Harvest pasta

Buitoni: Save $1.00 on any Buitoni purchase (must sign up)

Newman’s Own: Save up to $3.00 on Newman’s Own products

Health & Beauty:

Dove: Save up to $4.50 on Dove skincare products

Nair: $3.00 off 2 Nair hair removal products

Miralax: $1.00 off Miralax

Misc:

Cold-Eeze: $1.00 off any Cold-Eeze product (must sign up)

GE: $1.00 off one GE Energy Smart CFL lightbulb

Walgreens: $5 off a purchase of $25 or more (before taxes; after coupons). Hurry, expires 8/29! (It’s past 8/19 now)

Aw man, this free Beech-Nut Starter Kit is for babies, not literal beach crazed fans as the name suggests. How would a beach starter kit even work? They send you an envelope full of sand and a little umbrella from cocktail drinks?

This freebie includes coupons for Beech-Nut products as well as a newsletter with “helpful advice.” I can dole out advice as well, such as be prepared for babies to pee on you. I’ve got dozens of younger siblings¹ and they just love to surprise unsuspecting diaper changers.

1. number may be exaggerated [↩]