My East coast Hiffers might be interested in a free 90-day BJ's Wholesale Club membership. You'll need to scroll down to the bottom right of their homepage, then click on the green box that says “get a free 3-month membership.” (Look for the image below) After filling out the form, you'll receive a confirmation email and can pick up your membership card at your local BJ's Member Service Desk.
I know I've got one of these fairly close to me, so I might stop in and check it out. At the very least, I could buy a 20-gallon jar of honey mustard that should last me until July. Oh, who am I kidding, June at the latest.
They only have stores in 15 states, so I wouldn't be surprised if some Hiffers don't find this useful. You know, when I open my own brick-and-mortar company one day, I'll build a store in every town in America! That way, anybody anywhere can visit one of my stores and participate in a freebie. I won't even bother with all of those nerdy things like “return on investments” or “profit margins.” Who cares about that stuff?!
*KAPERRRZ* A time machine suddenly appears, future Goob steps forth and punches current Goob in the face while muttering something about potential investors digging up this post in the future.