As you can see below, we've found a lot of free fragrance, perfume, and cologne samples over the years. The good news is they're still very frequently released, as of 2020!
While we wait for the next one, here are some classic jokes from the archives.
Oh man, I can't wait to get this free Love2Love fragrance and then smell my lover's philtrum!
I get that gardens are supposed to be associated with pleasant smells, but this free Gucci Flora Garden fragrance on Facebook reminds me of three things I hate: sneezing, bees, and sneezing bees. Those last ones are the worst. They lure you in with their cuteness and then BAM!
Here's a free Chanel LE BLANC four-piece sample kit. As if by magic! Quick, somebody get it to pull a quarter out from behind my ear. I need some cash for a bagel in the morning.
I never understand traditional advertising. The Facebook page for free Nine West Love Fury fragrance shows the perfume and … a shoe? I get that the bottle stopper kind of looks like a high heel, but is that implying the scent smells like feet? Because I can produce that fragrance all on my own, thank you very much.
I have to admit, I always wanted to look like James Bond. I thought it’d be cool to have as many gadgets as Bond or be as sexy as Bond. I even wanted to be as strong as Bond. But I can’t say I ever once wanted to smell like him. If I wanted to be around the aroma of gin and gunpowder, I would have visited my crazy Uncle Eddy more often. But to each his own!I have to admit, I always wanted to look like James Bond. I thought it’d be cool to have as many gadgets as Bond or be as sexy as Bond. I even wanted to be as strong as Bond. But I can’t say I ever once wanted to smell like him. If I wanted to be around the aroma of gin and gunpowder, I would have visited my crazy Uncle Eddy more often. But to each his own!
Finally, I'll own a single carat! 23 more of these freebies and I'll finally be able to afford a nice engagement ring for Future Mrs. Goob.
Head to Facebook for a free Viktor&Rolf fragrance sample. We get to choose between Flowerbomb Dew or Flowerbomb Classic.
Ah yes. Classic … flower bombs? Are these from some crazy cool Secret Garden that I've never heard of? To heck with a green thumb, I want the camo thumb with access to explosive plants.
Oooooh, look at this fancy free North Bondi Parfum. You know it's high class when the language morphs from English to French. As a matter of fact, I now want to be known as Ryan Goob $*@&. It'll be annoying saying “pardon my French” every time I'm introduced, but swear words are the only French I know.
I've got no idea how this stuff smells. It could truthfully smell like fish scales and then again, it might smell like mountain spring time or fresh lilies or some other brand of Lysol. But if you have the guts to get it and wear it around for a while, sign up for this free Boudreau perfume & cologne.
There are three different free Hugo Boss fragrances to choose from today. There's the one that smells good, the one that smells great, and the one that is a mixture of dog farts and rotten eggs. Good luck guessing which is which!
I hope this free Hugo Boss fragrance comes in a tiny vial because they always make me feel like a giant scientist. I once took that fantasy a bit too far and mixed all of my colognes together in an attempt to create a magic potion. Turns out the only magical property it had was repelling women.
I knew the Swiss made knives, chocolates, and banks that don't ask too many questions, but I had no idea they also produced free Victorinox Swiss Unlimited men's fragrance. Imagine if they'd found a way to combine all those into this freebie. It shaves your beard when you spray it on, tastes like chocolate, and the bottle can be deposited into your bank account once empty.
Scientists, get on it.
Everybody knows Swiss Army best for their watches and knives, but did you know they make perfume too? It's obvious why, as nothing is more threatening than a fragrant, punctual solider. So if you enjoy trying new scents, request a free sample card of either Victoria Eau de or Forest Eau de toilette sprays.*
*Now with 50% less toilet sprays!
This free Selena Gomez fragrance got me wondering – how famous do you have to be in order to get your own perfume? Because after looking Ms. Gomez up (I'm rather happy to admit I didn't know who she was), I think it's time to shore up my references and credentials. I mean, who wouldn't want to smell like a work-from-home blogger who desperately needs to clean his desk and do a few loads of laundry?
As a resident of New York City, I can promise that you wouldn't want to come within a mile of this free DKNY fragrance if it truly smelled like NYC. I understand people enjoy different aromas, but I've yet to meet anybody who loves the scent of hot garbage and what I really, really hope is dog poop.
This free Joy by Dior fragrance has a lot of fancy buzzwords in its description. Vibrant smile of flowers. Smooth caress of woods. A fragrance facetted with a thousand nuances.
Let me try a crack at it.
This spray thingy smells good.
Ahhh, much better!
Am I the only one who feels fancy whenever asked for my salutation? The only time I come across that word is when requesting freebies like this free Gucci Guilty fragrance and watching Downton Abbey.
I have no idea who David or what a Yurman is, but we're all welcome to ask for a free David Yurman fragrance sample. I'm guessing it smells like yogurt from Yemen.
You get to choose between the Code and the Sport Code when signing up for your free Giorgio Armani Beauty fragrance. What's the difference? Um… One has the word Sport in the name and the other doesn't.
The only prerequisite for free Burberry Brit Rhythm fragrance is joining “The Guest List,” so I'm assuming this sample is our key to all the cool parties in town. Only problem I can foresee is we won't know where the parties are exactly located. That's why I plan on spraying this freebie in the face of every bouncer I see until one of them shows me the way.
I found this free Folle de Joie fragrance offer while gaming with my friends this afternoon. I stared calling it “Folly de Jolly” and now it's been 5 hours of us saying that nonstop.
I love my job.
You can get free Armani Code cologne. You know what they say though – loose lips sink ships. So don't sign up for this unless you can keep the Code under wraps. Otherwise HIF's enemies will … know we smell good? On second thought, I guess that's not such a bad thing.
As a frequent sufferer of writer's block and someone who's constantly searching for his muse, I can speak with authority when I say filling a room with free Estee Lauder Modern Muse perfumewill make people pass out before it inspires them. Unless it inspires them to run away from you. If that's your goal, then job well done!