Freebies and free stuff

ShopText has a new freebie available via text messaging – simply text NATURAL to 467467 and you’ll get a free sample of Clorox Green Works laundry detergent.

I just realized I never wrote a guide to using ShopText, so look for that in the next few days. But until then, here’s a quick guide: you sign up for a free account on ShopText.com and then any time you want one of their freebies, you send a text message with the secret word. Their software matches your phone number to the address you used when signing up and automatically ships the freebie out to ya!

It’s kind of nifty and cool as long as you overlook how close we’re getting to creating Skynet.

These free Graffiti Safewipes are a pretty novel idea – they’re meant to quickly and easily erase graffiti from street signs and other frequent targets, like my mailbox. I tried getting the neighborhood kids to think I was cool, but apparently wearing rainbow suspenders and frequently saying “cowabunga” no longer makes you hip.

EDIT: The nine zeros trick isn’t working, but you can instead use any random nine numbers.

EDIT #2: Now they’re out of samples.

The free Clorox disinfecting wipes from Sam’s Club that we posted last month is now back from the dead. You have to enter a club membership number, but you can simply put in nine zeros (000000000) and the form will submit.

An alternate option is to get two dogs who don’t listen to a word you say and who eat / lick anything you spill on the ground within 0.002 seconds. I tried asking them what part of no they don’t understand, but their response was to start licking my feet.

Here are some free Disney Rewards Points that were posted over on the forums recently. Thanks to all the Hiffers posting over there!

1. HEART – worth 50 points
2. Watch this Blu-ray video. You can skip the intro and it’s worth 100 points. It’s rather long, so you might want to play it while you’re doing something else.

EDIT: This is no longer available.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a laundry freebie, huh? I remember they were one of the most popular types of freebies when I started HIF over three and a half years ago. That was back when I had to walk uphill to my mailbox three miles away and when I went back inside. It was a geographical oddity to say the least. I probably shouldn’t have taken such a circuitous route…

But whatever, this free Seventh Generation laundry detergent will help me relive the good ol’ days. Now where’s my rotary phone and fedora hat?! I need to call the operator and see when the next talkie is playing!

EDIT: Looks like we cleaned out their supply! Get it? Hello? Is this thing on?

As with other Sam’s Club freebies, this free Clorox Disinfecting Wipes offer requires a Membership Number, but will take all zeros. I wish everything in life was that easy. Can’t remember your work’s street address? All zeros! What’s your friend’s new phone number again? All zeros! How much money is in your checking account? All zer…wait a minute…

EDIT: They’ve closed the offer now, so I guess if you signed up earlier, that means you’re going to get the freebie!

You can tell it’s late in the day when you see this free Bounce Dryer Bar offer and start to wonder if it has alcohol in it. I believe it’s time to close this laptop and retire to the back porch with a new episode of The Bugle and some whiskey. And to think people complain that there’s nothing to do on Tuesday nights!

The freebie is from Viewpoints and unfortunately they don’t say if or how many freebies are still available. I hate when companies don’t let you know if the offer is valid or not, but oh well, I’m just a mere blogger who has no influence whatsoever with these companies. Or DO I?!¹ MWAHAHA!

1. Let’s see…oh, no, I don’t [↩]

EDIT: The marketing company running this offer looks to be a tad bit clueless. Here’s the coupon in question and your best bet will be to use it in a self-checkout line since it’s for a free item.

Downy has a promotion going on where you can get a coupon for a free travel size Downy Wrinkle Releaser if you upload a photo of a wrinkled item to their website. Unfortunately for them but luckily for lazy people like me, they’ve got the coupon directly uploaded onto their site. So…do whatever you feel like on this fine Monday afternoon. It’s not like I can tell you what to do. Or can I? Uh…send me $10. Make it $20! Actually, go ahead and draw up Power of Attorney papers for me to sign.

They also say you’ll get $10 in coupons if you subscribe to their newsletter, but again, they have an option where you can bypass that altogether and have the coupons mailed directly to you. Either the people over at Downy are geniuses or somebody really needs to explain to them how proper marketing works.

EDIT: This is no longer available, but I’ll keep checking it over the next few hours to see if it comes back.

The free Lever2000 soap offer page on Walmart’s site has bubbles you can roll over which pop and displays words that supposedly describe the soap. I got playful, happiness, smooth, and laughter before giving up and moving on. Who thinks of their soap as being playful? I’m not sure they’re using it correctly if they do. And smooth? Quick, name me a soap that’s jagged and sharp! Exactly.

EDIT: To get the wipes, you must be a teacher. They only have a certain number each day and today’s amount is exhausted now.

As a kid, I used to always wish I’d get sick so that I could stay home from school. What was the worst that could happen to me back then? Strep throat? Possibly a stomach bug? Now my siblings have to worry about freaking Swine Flu! Maybe these free Clorox Disinfecting Wipes for teachers will help keep them healthy and out of my hair for six hours a day.

Okay Huggies. I understand that you’re trying to show us how well your diapers work on little kids who haul butt around the house. But what is up with the banner for your free Huggies Little Movers diapers page? The Olympic hurdler really couldn’t spend an extra two seconds to walk about the park bench? No? I guess you’re right, seeing as how the baby is surrounded by nothing but lush, green grass. Oh, the horror!

For the record, I was quite conflicted with which way to go with my snark. “Little movers” has so much potential, that I thought it best to leave it be.

EDIT: It looks like they aren’t accepting any new subscribers right now.

If you sign up for SC Johnson Right@Home, you’ll receive occasional exclusive coupon offers through your e-mail¹, such as this free $1 any Pledge product coupon. If SC Johnson really wanted me to feel at home, they’d personally deliver the coupons to me in the mail. Or move in next door and play Euro Techno music at 4 in the morning.

1. As always, make sure you’re using your freebie e-mail address instead of your home or work address! [↩]

Here’s another offer we’ve already posted on HIF in the form of a free Scrubbing Bubbles Shower Caddy. When I posted it in late April, it died within a week or so, but it appears to be back up and running now.

Don’t be fooled by the name, however, as this freebie does not come with an actual caddy. When I asked for advice on which shampoo I should use, it didn’t provide a single helpful insight. And don’t even get me started about when I asked it put my 9 iron away!

The previous coupon booklet that I posted last week is now showing up as “sold out” for some people, so enter this free $35 coupon booklet! This one looks rather new to me as I don’t remember seeing this color scheme or the “refresh your nest for less” tagline before. As luck would have it, that’s the exact same secret code phrase my gang in high school used. I was the only member though and I guess it wasn’t so much a gang as it was me wearing a leather jacket and aviator glasses while trying to look cool.

Okay, fine, you caught me. I still wear the glasses. And jacket. Including right now. It’s not my fault this room is so cold!

This free $30 coupon booklet is back for, what, the 7th time in the past two years? I think I’ve gotten it four times and it just so happens that I’ve only cleaned my apartment four times. Is it coincidence that I only clean my place whenever I get a ton of coupons for cleaning products? I’ll let you be the judge.

Some people are saying there’s a free Cascade Crystal Clear Rinse Agent coupon in it this time around, but I can’t confirm nor deny that. Other things I can’t confirm nor deny are the existence of aliens or the fact that I’m extremely hung over right now.