Body Products Freebies

Free 8 Hour Energy Patch

Free 8 Hour Energy Patch

I’ll probably pass on this free 8 hour energy patch. Call me crazy, but slapping a mysterious unknown patch on my arm sounds like something I was warned about in one of those 80′s after-school PSAs.

Reminder: Quarterly P&G Freebies

It’s been a while since I’ve posted the quarterly P&G Everyday freebie packs. Not that August is the best time for a quarterly update, but it’s been bleak in my account recently. The only thing offered was free Prilosec OTC, which I’ve already received approximately 9,781,767 times.

But hey, new users can signup here while existing members can login here. Maybe it’s just me and your accounts are overflowing with free toothpaste and paper towels. I promise I’m not jealous and no I won’t show you if my fingers are crossed behind my back.

Free Real Time Pain Relief Gel

Free Real Time Pain Relief

This freebie was originally posted on November 16, 2012 and is still available.

This old free Real Time Pain Relief gel offer is nice, whatever, but the pressing issue at hand is their main site. Are there people who have read that entire page? Who are these people?! Do they not have hobbies or a job or a normal attention span? If I came home and found a loved one reading that page, I’d have them committed.

You have to confirm your email address and they say that a retailer might contact you to verify your request, so make sure to use your freebie email address and a bogus phone number. It’s worth it though as this product is also awesome. Works wonders on my neck.

Free Always Discreet Pad

Free Always Discreet Pads

I almost missed it. I came this close to hitting Publish before casually glancing once last time at the free Always Discreet pads page. That’s when it jumped out at me. I have no Earthly idea what I’ll find on the other side let alone why it exists, but it’s an absolute certainty that I’ll call the toll-free “NEED LIVE HELP?!” number on their site. I need live help explaining why they provide live help!

At least the freebie isn’t flamboyant.

Free Escada Joyful Perfume

Free Perfume

If today’s free Escada Joyful fragrance offer implies it spreads joy, then explain how I’m in such a great mood today without the sample smeared on my neck?! I guess some mysteries are beyond our grasp.

The signup form is a little weird. It wasn’t working last week, but today it went through after I entered my zip code, then my city, then my state. *shrug*

Two Free Breathe Right Nasal Strips

Free Breathe Right Nasal Strips

This freebie was originally posted on March 6, 2013 but is still available!

There’s way too much uncertainty in the world today. Rising global temperatures, the Israeli–Palestinian conflict, whether to get meat lovers or double meat lovers pizza tonight – it’s just too much for me. That’s why I appreciate these two free Breathe Right nasal strips. This freebie is always around to provide that rock solid stability I need. Heck, I’m pretty sure it’s my constant if I ever get stuck in a time traveling loop.

[thanks Freebies 4 Mom!]

Free Sundown Naturals Adult Gummies

Free Adult Gummies

This freebie from March 2014 has returned!

Oh come on. Don’t call these Sundown Naturals free “adult” gummies if all they have in them are stupid vitamins and nutrients. Kids can have those! If I’m paying good money for gummies with adult in the title, then they need to have at least 10% alcohol.

Free Folle de Joie Fragrance

Free Folle de Joie Fragrance

I found this free Folle de Joie fragrance offer while gaming with my friends this afternoon. I stared calling it “Folly de Jolly” and now it’s been 5 hours of us saying that nonstop. I love my job.

Two Free Swiss Army Fragrances

Everybody knows Swiss Army best for their watches and knives, but did you know they make perfume too? It’s obvious why, as nothing is more threatening than a fragrant, punctual solider. So if you enjoy trying new scents, request a free sample card of either Victoria Eau de or Forest Eau de toilette sprays.*

*Now with 50% less toilet sprays!

Free Garnier Clean+ Exfoliator or Oil

Free Garnier Clean+ Exfoliator or Oil

I wonder how much money Garnier paid in salary to the team that tacked a plus onto the end of their latest product: free Garnier Clean+. I would have gone with an ampersand or left parenthesis just to mess with people.

$1.00 off ANY GARNIER Styling Product