Freebies and free stuff

Kroger has a new free Caress Evenly Gorgeous Exfoliating body wash offer available and … blarg! I just typed up this entire post before realizing that I made the exact same jokes back in March when I first published this freebie. How long is the average Hiffers memory? If it’s anything like mine, it’s around nine minutes. Wait a minute … now I’m starting to think that I probably could have gotten away with it without anybody noticing. Double blarg!

I guess I should sign up for these free DenTek floss picks from Walmart so that I don’t upset my dentist anymore. He’s always telling me to floss more often, but I have trouble concentrating when there’s a tray full of torture devices sitting right next to me. I can never tell if I’m getting a cavity filled or being punished for crimes committed in a past life.

It’s a new month which means there’s a new Aerie in-store freebie available every Thursday. This month they’re offering a free signature scent that retails for $12.50. As the image above shows, they have a wide variety of scents available. I’m personally having trouble deciding between “flirty” and “pretty.” Which do you think will help the most with the ladies?

You have to be a member of their A-lister club, however you can join on-line or in-store for free and get your freebie the same day! You may want to call ahead and make sure your local store has some left in supply before heading out.

Who exactly are these free Kirkland Supreme Diapers from Costco for? Bigfoot? Look at the photo up there; I’m pretty sure that entire family could climb into one of these.

EDIT: Holy moly, the site finally seems to be going at normal speed now!

The website for this free $50 in Tylenol coupons has been bogged down since noon yesterday, which doesn’t bode well for what will happen once I hit the “publish” button. However, $50 in coupons is nothing to scoff at, so I thought I should post this and people could try to load it whenever they have a spare minute or ninety.

The site is an on-line calendar and they’ll release new coupons over the next three months. I had trouble getting any coupons to load, but Deal Seeking Mom is reporting that the current printable coupons available are:

• $1/1 Children’s Tylenol, Children’s Tylenol Plus Cold, or Infant Drops
• $1/1 Tylenol 8-Hour Product
• $1/1 Tylenol Cold, Allergy, or Sinus Product
• $1/1 Tylenol Extra Strength or Arthritis Pain Product
• $2/1 Tylenol PM Product

If you manage to print them, congratulations, you are better at my job than me. Stop by my house and I’ll hand over the keys to HIF.

[via Kerry & Lisa - thanks!]

Walmart is giving away a freebie that requires an intermission just to read it’s full name: free Garnier Nutritioniste Skin Renew Anti-Sun-Damage Daily Eye Cream SPF 15. They could throw a curse word in the middle of that and it’d take at least a week before anybody noticed.

EDIT: We’ve overwhelmed their site, but I suspect the freebie will be available once they fix it.

The last time I wore a free Breath Right nasal strip was back in high school on the football field. You should have seen me, I was a beast! Tirelessly running up and down the field and always hanging around with the tough guys was a recipe for instant popularity. It seemed like everybody knew and was talking about me, which always made me feel great. And the girls! Oh, the girls. They were always pointing at me and laughing – no doubt thinking of a hilarious joke I’d recently told in class.

I probably didn’t need to wear full football gear to be the water boy, but people were always throwing good luck charms at me, like empty beer bottles. Sure, they hurt whenever they hit my head, but the more they threw, the faster I ran, and the more hydrated our team was! What great fans, huh?!

EDIT: Unfortunately their supplies have been exhausted.

Folks, somebody broke into my house and ate all of the Halloween candy I’m supposed to give out tomorrow. And, uh, they … okay, I confess, it was me, but it wasn’t my fault! Okay, maybe it was my fault, but there was a good reason! Fine, you got me, there wasn’t a good reason, but I was hungry and there was nothing else to eat! Oh stop looking at me that way, I admit it, I wasn’t even hungry and my pantry is stocked. Dang, you’re good at this – are you sure you’re not a cop?

As soon as this free John Frieda Brilliant Brunette Liquid Shine Illuminating shampoo and conditioner arrives, I’ll use it to wash the shame off.

If you stop in at Victoria’s Secret and get a free bra fitting, then you can also get free Beauty Rush lip gloss. I’m nowhere near mature enough to write about bra fittings, so let’s collectively sigh in relief and thank our deity of choice that this post is now over.

The coupon expires on November 15, but supplies are limited. If you’re at work, you might want to wait until you get home to print the coupon as there’s an image of a model in a bra.

This free Tropical Breeze fragrance says it’s a “new fragrance for him.” Who? Me? Or some other “him?” They really should be more specific about this. I’d like to know if an entire new smell was invented just for me.

In order to get this free Olay Total Effects Anti-Aging body wash, you have to log-in or sign up with P&G Everyday Solutions. The body wash promises to have “7 skin benefits,” so in the interest of science¹, I’m going to try and guess all seven.

1. Dirt and grim are washed off.
2. Leaves a thin, temporary fire-resistant coating.
3. Four words: Glow in the dark!
4. With every wash, you look three days younger.
5. Contains 100% daily value of zinc, iron, and fiber – and they’re all absorbed through your skin!
6. Can burn off unwanted moles, freckles, and body hair with focused scrubbing.
7. May result in free transformation of feet into flippers!

How many do you think I got correct? Five?

You’ll be offered a few other coupons as well. I had $1 off Scope and another $1 off Downy coupons available, among others.

1. this doesn’t actually help science out at all [↩]

The site for these free Pampers Extra Protection diapers via Walmart have these little stars that are … twinkling? I guess. It’s kind of a flickering to me; as if they need to have their light bulbs changed.

They only have size 4 and 5 available, so these are for giant babies or average-sized kids who are a bit older.

[via the forums]

We’ve posted this free Prilosec OTC offer a few times in the past year, but it’s still available. Plus, with all the free food I’ve posted today, I figure there will be some Hiffers suffering from heartburn soon!

EDIT: This may be expired now.

I’m glad I checked my e-mail before going to bed, because there were two messages letting me know about a new free Lubriderm lotion offer from ShopText. Simply text the word MYSKIN to 467467 and your freebie should arrive in a few weeks.

We’ve posted some ShopText freebies in the past, so if you’ve signed up for a free account on their site already, then they have your address on file. If you haven’t signed up previously, then you’ll probably want to go ahead and do so now. Otherwise, unless ShopText has a bunch of wizards on staff, they’ll have no idea where to send your freebie!

[via David and Mindy - thanks!]

I almost forgot that today is the first of three days for free Clarins Skin Facial Treatments at your nearest Lord & Taylors. We wrote about it last month, but in case you missed it, all you have to do is register for an appointment on-line. Space is still available at my local store, so fingers crossed it will be at yours too.

I thought about trying to get one of these freebies, but I doubt I could pull it off. I imagine my week-old beard would pose the first of many problems.

[via the freebie calendar]