Food Freebies


Free MiO Fit Drink Mix

Free MiO Fit Drink Mix

You’ll have to send a tweet from their site in order to get some free MiO Fit drink mix, but you can delete it after signing up. The two possible flavors we’ll receive are Arctic Grape or Berry Blast. Because we all instinctively associate grapes with the North Pole and berries with explosions. Duh.

Free Quaker Snacks at Kroger

Free Quaker Cookies at Kroger

Enter you zip code on this site to see if your local Kroger will be giving out a free bar or 4 count pack of Quaker chocolate chip cookies today from 4-8pm. I hope everybody appreciates how painful this is for me to post. There aren’t any Krogers within 100 miles of me, so I have to spend the rest of today thinking about all the free cookies I won’t be eating.

You’re right. I should go buy some Oreos and eat an entire row. It’s the only solution. Glad you agree!

Reminder: Free Pretzelmaker Pretzel

Free Pretzelmaker Pretzel

Don’t forget today is National Pretzel Day, meaning you can get a free pretzels at Pretzelmaker by telling a joke. Any idea what joke you’re going to tell? Share in the comments!

Here’s a list of participating locations.

3 Free Bruegger’s Bagels on 4/25

3 Free Bruegger's Bagels

Be sure to print out this coupon to use on Wednesday, April 25 to get 3 free Bruegger’s bagels prior to 2pm. You’ll be able to access the coupon after liking them on Facebook, which reminds me it’s been a while since I posted the How to Delete Facebook Crap guide I wrote last year.

Free Gevalia House Blend Coffee

Free Gevalia House Blend Coffee

Here’s a new free Gevalia House Blend coffee offer via Facebook. They promise to send enough for a full pot of coffee, which means that mug pictured above is freaking huge! Where can I buy one of those?! It’d save me at least five unnecessary trips back and forth to the kitchen every day.

Free MiO Energy Black Cherry at 7-Eleven on 4/23

Free MiO Energy Black Cherry

Stop by your local 7-Eleven tomorrow, Tuesday, April 23 to get free MiO Energy Black Cherry water flavor enhancement squirty stuff. I’ve never had this flavor, but I was impressed with the originals they gave away years ago.

The sample is only for the Energy Black Cherry flavor and all you have to do is mention this promotion at the register. If they give you any trouble, tell them Goob sent you then throw on your sunglasses and walk out. That probably won’t work in 99.99% of cases, but it’d be pretty bad ass for the lucky 00.01% of Hiffers!

Possible Free Pepsi Next 2 Liter

Possible Free Pepsi 2 Liter

Let the flash animation play out then spin the “Wheel of Levy” to possibly win a coupon for a free Pepsi Next 2 liter. I’m not sure if everybody wins, but I know I did. And isn’t me getting a freebie the most important thing?

No? Dang. Now I’m back to square one in my quest to decoding the meaning of life.

Free Pretzelmaker Pretzel on 4/26

Free Pretzelmaker Pretzel

Friday, April 26, is National Pretzel Day and Pretzelmaker will celebrate this odd holiday with free pretzels for everyone! All you have to do is stop in at a participating locations and … tell a joke?

Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa. Back off, Pretzelmaker! Making jokes about freebies is my turf! This sole freebie could put me out of business. So do me a favor and make sure your joke is especially bad. It doesn’t even have to make sense. Try something like “knock, knock,” “who’s there,” “GIVE ME A PRETZEL!”

[thanks to everyone who sent this in!]

Free Starbucks Tall House Blend Coffee until Noon

Free Starbucks Coffee

Hopefully you catch this post before bed. Or I guess before rushing out to work or school in the off chance you’re some kind of hero with the superpower to rise before noon. Starbuck’s randomly posted to their Facebook that they’ll be offering free Starbucks tall House Blend coffee today, Friday, April 19, until noon.

This is cool and all, so kudos to Starbucks. But, uh, can we try not to make this whole “releasing awesome freebies multiple hours after Goob has started drinking” a thing? I think it’s best for everyone involved.

[thanks Freebie Finding Mom!]

Free Panda Express Surf & Turf

Free Panda Express Surf & Turf

Use this coupon tomorrow, Wednesday, April 17, to get a free Panda Express Samurai Surf & Turf meal. I hope they emphasize the samurai part. I find shrimp tastes far better whenever I’m being attacked by a group of ninjas. It’s just like how Mom used to make it!