Freebies and free stuff

Isn’t the name of this free Dunkin Donuts Turbo coffee a little redundant? Wouldn’t all coffee be considered turboish? Well, I should say, all coffee except for that stupid Turtle Paced Coffee. I don’t know what genius came up with that idea.

In order to get the freebie, simply click on the “free sample” link up at the top.

Another site for free Lipton green tea has been found in case you missed out on the offer last November. Just click on the green box in the right sidebar and you’ll be able to sign up.

I was curious as to what the AOX logo in the image above meant, so I googled it and was directed to this helpful animation. So there you have it, folks. It’s a small fairy that flies around your body and attacks any pollution headed in your direction. Mystery solved.

During every Monday throughout March, stop in at your local Dunkin Donuts and get a free medium hot or iced coffee. If you can resist purchasing a dozen donuts while you’re there, then please send me some of your amazing willpower.

Lots of people are saying this is only working in certain regions, so be sure to call ahead. Trust me, I’d love to call every store in the country and make a detailed chart, but I’ve got other things I need to do over the next five weeks.

EDIT: Samples have been exhausted.

All You magazine is giving their readers a free Borden Singles cheese coupon as long as they are members of Reality Checkers. Not a member? Then sign up for free and then sign up for your coupon.

I’m fairly certain that the coupon is actually a voucher for a free package of cheese, but then again, I was also recently certain that Narwhals¹ were fake animals. The lesson here is that we shouldn’t rely on me whenever possible.

[thanks Common Sense with Money]

1. Seriously, would YOU think these animals were real?! They look like giant, fat, swimming unicorns. [↩]

I already wrote about the free Home Depot workshop, but there are a few other weekend events to boot.

Bruster’s: Like wearing your pajamas in public? Me too. But now we have an extra excuse to do so: free ice cream on Saturday! Make sure to call your local store, because some places are running this offer on March 20.

Hollywood Tans: stop in for a free tan all day Saturday. It includes a mystic spray tan as well, so be sure to bring your witch hat and wand!

Michael’s: If you want to sleep in for an extra hour or if you get done early at Home Depot, swing by Michael’s between 10am-1pm and build a free voo doo doll. Or a yarn doll. I don’t really know what that thing is, but I’m kinda scared.

EDIT: Looks like these are all gone.

I try and eat as healthy as possible, but this free bag of SunChips from Facebook is one of my many weaknesses. There’s no way I avoid downing this entire bag in one sitting. I plan on immediately taping a note to it that reads, “Goob, do not eat these all at once. OR ELSE!”

Taking the initiative against myself is smart. So smart, that I think it should be rewarded with a snack. A small snack. You know, a chip or two. Maybe a handful. Both hands! Repeatedly.

In order to get a free sample of Nescafe Taster’s Choice, simply become a fan on Facebook and then tell me to go to bed, because I need some sleep. Apparently I don’t listen to myself, but instead take my cues from peer pressure. It’s why I currently have 42 tattoos. Luckily, I was smart enough to make them all look like freckles.

Freebie companies, meet me at camera 2. *Goob now spins around in his chair a few times for fun.*

Hey there guys, it’s me, Goob. I want to thank all of you for the truck loads of freebies you give away every year. Seriously, they’re awesome. But there’s one thing I’d like to point out. It’s 2010, which means we’re about 15 years past auto-playing music being an acceptable practice on a website. Don’t get me wrong, I still signed up for some free ideal sweetener, but only after I paused my own music and hunted through the plethora of open tabs on my browser to find out where in the world that Caribbean music was coming from.

So, we cool? You’re gonna stop putting music on your sites? Sweet. I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say thanks. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to eat some pie and drink lemonade. I’m not sure why I’m suddenly craving those…

Emergen-C is back with a new free recipe/sample combo that lets you pick from four flavors. I went with Maui Wowee, but only because I have an inexplicable weakness to funny rhymes.

When I found this free Vitamin Water offer on Facebook last night, I thought there was no way it’d still be available within the hour, let alone this morning. Yet the form is still up, so it looks like I’m an idiot. The best case scenario is tons of Hiffers are still able to get it and months from now, we all look back fondly on this freebie and laugh at my silly delay. Worst case; I’m attacked by an angry, thirsty mob. Hey, put down that pitchfork!