Goob 
This Boston’s the Gourmet Pizza birthday freebie is a perfect time to remind people that they’re not supposed to print the image above. That’s not a coupon, it’s just a screen grab of the email I received earlier this year to prove this freebie exists. In order to get your …
I love offers like this Taco Cabana birthday freebie because it lets me mispronounce everything on purpose. “Yeah, I’ll have the fla-ooou-ta … play-tea? Is that you say that?” The following incomprehensible stare from the server as they try to figure out if I’m serious or not is delicious. We’re …
Every time I pull up the remaining birthday freebies to post, I think to myself “Goob, why don’t you have a jetpack yet?” My next thought is always “I don’t think there are any great birthday freebies I haven’t published.” Then I found Tony Roma’s birthday freebie. Remember, we have …
What’s the Barnes and Noble birthday freebie for kids? Cookies and cupcakes. In a bookstore. They might as well hand out tubes of glue while they’re at it.
Please remember not to print the image above as that’s my coupon for Maggie Moo’s birthday freebie. Besides, it’s not like your name is Ryan, now is it? Unless it is. Either way, stop screwing up my lesson! What was I saying again?
I’m lucky I don’t live close to a store where I can redeem my Which Wich birthday freebie because I would be banned and possibly beaten within minutes. There’s just no way around the fact that I would launch into a custom Who’s on First routine with which, wich, wiches, …
Whenever I’m looking for ambient or random soundtrack styled music, I don’t really listen to soundtracks. I’d rather just pop on some Explosions in the Sky or maybe just go all avant garde with some Miles Davis or Coltrane. But for some people who think that the cake isn’t a …
Oh man, that image above for the Orange Julius birthday freebie looks like a coupon some people will print. Don’t do that. Instead sign up on their site and they’ll send you a coupon around your birthday. It’s like a birthday miracle! Or, you know, an efficient e-mail marketing system.
I don’t see how birthday cakes could every be out, but the Logan’s Roadhouse birthday freebie wants to make the case they are. Normally I’d ignore such blasphemy, but their Nutter Butter Fudgeslide not only sounds spectacular but comes in a bucket. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that …
Okay, what the heck is with all these Mongolian grills? Case in point: the HuHot Mongolian Grill birthday freebie. Why is Mongolia the place we associate with grills? I thought they were all about yurts, yaks, and archery. It’s not that often you hear about their knack for frying meat. …
Hey, Chevys, don’t tell me I can siesta later! I’ll take a nap whenever I da…zzzzzzzz Throughout high school, I’d wish people sitting around me good luck before tests by shouting “cumpleanos!” The old Chevys Fresh Mex birthday freebie email was a nice reminder that I didn’t pay attention at …
Let’s see if I can avoid totally botching today’s Jason’s Deli birthday freebie like I did yesterdays. I’ve re-re-re-read my birthday email to make sure I get everything correct. Okay, the place is called Jason’s Deli, not Jim’s. Got it. It’s for $5 off any item, not $15. Good to …
Sean Spicer may hate Dippin’ Dots, but I’ll keep loving them as long as their Dippin’ Dots birthday freebie keeps rolling on in!
The Daphne’s Greek Cafe birthday freebie wants to “treat you to a delicious meal.” Sounds good to me. Who wants to be the first one to cleverly point out that the image above is “expired.” That’s what I thought. But remember, if you want to get your very own non-expired …
The Einstein Bros birthday freebie made me realize that I wish I knew the Einstein brothers. I don’t know why, but they seem cool. I think it’s their logo. I’d get along well with anybody who holds bagels up to their face like monocles. Judging from the emails I’m still …