Stickers

My version of this freebie is pretty lame since it's just me and two dogs, but perhaps you have a more robust collection of people for your free Disney family decal. My dogs wouldn't even sit still long enough for me to put a fake hat on them in the decal.

I love that the World Wildlife Foundation and World Wrestling Federation have the same acronyms. I get all giddy thinking of tigers wrestling or kangaroos in a steel cage match. Or a panda smashing a leopard over the head with a folding chair.

But, alas, I'll just dream in acronyms while I wait for this free WWF tiger sticker pack to come… TYCA*

* Thank You, Come Again

I love how the authors of Freakonomics call their free signed sticker a “free bookplate.” Am I the only person who's never heard of that word before? If I had to guess what it meant, sticker would be #745. I think we all know what number one would be.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to eat some lunch. Where's my copy of 1984?

People, we must act quickly. This free Rainforest Alliance sticker can only mean one thing: Rainforests worldwide have joined into a powerful federation and they're out to get us! Gone are the days of liberally razing any timber in our paths. Instead, we now need to keep a vigilant watch for any tenacious trees bent on revenge. I don't know about you, but I've been attacked by a tree or two in my days and it's no fun!

I have some friends who might enjoy a free Make Marijuana Legal sticker. Then again, they'd probably have trouble peeling the back off and end up staring at it for a few hours.

I need some new friends.

Posting this free OMG GOP WTF?! sticker is a true testimonial to my credo to post any legitimate freebie, despite what I personally think about it. It's not the lobbyist group that bothers me, but the anagrams! Reading a text message from one of my siblings is like trying to decipher the Rosetta Stone by only using a German enigma machine. I'll spend 5 minutes typing out a paragraph to them and within 15 seconds receive a reply that looks as if they typed it while trying to kill a spider on their keyboard.

The best part is the incredulous look they give me when confronted. “What do you mean you don't know what ‘idkcmaswss' means? It obviously stands for ‘I don't know, call Mom and see what she says.'” This is usually followed by an eye roll and slight chuckle that can only be interpreted in one way – that I'm the idiot in this equation.