Free Measuring Tape

Short and Fat is giving away a free measuring tape that's used for body measurements & clothing. I can't wait to measure everything in my home and then annoy my friends with the results (once we're all vaccinated, obviously!)

“Hey, did you know you're drinking out of a four inch tall glass?”

“That chair you're sitting in has a ten inch cushion.”

“Oh, look, your two inch fist is headed straight for my face!”

I might end up using mine to see if my suit needs tailoring. I've been wearing it every day over the past few weeks in order to increase my productivity. Instead, all I do is walk around my apartment firing pretend employees and giving unqualified stock tips to my cats.

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