Free Schiff Vitamins Freebies

The first Schiff freebie was found in June 2006, but the next five all came steady across 2011-14. Unfortunately, I haven't found a Schiff freebie since then, so here are my previous comments in the meantime!

Old HIF Jokes

I used to make fun of people who wore these types of things since I associated anybody who wore them with being old. And myself, well I was a young bucking lad who had nary the back problems. Now I'm a 23 year old in the body of a 90 year old, a guy who can't get out of bed without straining 18 ligaments. To put it another way, if I was a baseball player, I'd be Kerry Wood and Mark Prior rolled into one. Thankfully, the good people at Schiff have made products like this free Move Free Advanced that enable old folks like me to get around without harm!


Who wants some free Schiff MegaRed Omega-3 Krill Oil!? It's … ah … okay, I really don't know what this is. I understand those words individually. Yet when put together in that particular sequence they make about as much sense as “briefcase trivia falafel” does.


This is the fourth time I've posted a free Schiff MegaRed krill oil offer and I still don't know what this stuff is. I can't wait until I'm applying for another job sometime in the next decade.

Guy in Suit: So, what did you do at your previous job?
Goob: Uh. I found links to freebies and then made corny jokes.
Suit: And…
Goob: That's it. I didn't know what I was doing half the time though.
Suit: …
Goob: I'll show myself out.

Sometimes I wish the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come would hurry up and get here so I can see whether or not I get buried in a freak pile of freebies.


When I sat down to write about this free Schiff Move Free Ultra on Facebook, I decided I first needed to investigate what in the heck “total joint health” even meant. And, uh, I'm not really sure how, but about an hour later I was reading about Australia's 2,021 mile anti-rabbit fence.

I'm sure there's a “falling down the rabbit's hole” joke somewhere in there.


9 comments on “Free Schiff Vitamins Freebies”

  1. Hey, try telling them you’ve been raising kids for the last 15 yrs. That doesn’t work either. Apparently all the things moms do don’t amount to squat in the job market πŸ™

    Reply
  2. I’d hire you :p! (plus after seeing your pic the other day you’re really cute, that would totally help you if you were seeking my employ)

    Reply

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