I have no idea what this free Olay Pro Skin headband is for. The page says “get your free headband to see what the skin experts see,” which increases my level of understand from None to Still None. I take it’s just a headband from Olay? Whatever, who cares, sign up and we’ll find out together what this is in six weeks.

EDIT: Holy moly, this is what we’re getting. It looks like something out of a low-budget science fiction movie. Haha, it’s not even useful! Oh well, it comes with a $5 coupon.

EDIT: And it’s dead.

The old free John Frieda Frizz-Ease shampoo and conditioner offer has returned. I wonder how it enjoyed spending the last two months in Morocco. No, wait, that’s my other friend John. I get them confused. Am I still typing? Why is that? I should probably stop now.

Well here’s a new product that’s sure to make you go “hmm, I wonder what made them choose that name.” Your free Kyk energy drink mix is meant to give a kick to any beverage. I have to admit, I like their logo. The traditional symbol of a dead person is an especially nice touch. Drink Kyk Energy – so extreme, it may kill you!

[thanks to everybody who sent this in!]

EDIT: No longer available.

These free Purina Beneful baked treats on Facebook make it sound like our dogs are geting high. I honestly don’t need a dog that’s more lethargic.

You have to add an app in order to get this freebie. Hopefully you’ve taken my advice and created a freebie-only Facebook account by now. If not, there are also instructions on that page on how to remove this and any other unwanted apps from your profile.

You can earn 40 free Recyclebank points by clicking the image above. It should direct you to a page where you can take a quiz (near the top right) and submit a recipe (near the bottom right). Each will give you 20 points, thus… yep, 20+20 is 40. Glad I got that right.

EDIT: A better number would be zero, which is a horrible, completely accurate number.

There are only 15,000 free Ecover laundry detergent samples available on Facebook. Because nothing says Environmentalism like mailing a few thousand packages.

I have no idea how many of these are left. Let’s say … 3,180. That sounds like a good, completely made up number.

Thanks to everybody who entered the Amazon Kindle Fire contest this week. I think the total number of entries broke the previous record for any of our previous contests, which is nifty. But you don’t care about that, you probably want to know who won.

So congratulations to Katelyn (kjb222***) and Pat K (patkaneshiro8***)! Both of you should have an email with instructions on how to get your prize, but if you don’t see it, hit me up.

Thanks again to everyone who entered and I’ll be doing another contest shortly!

That title looks weird.

Hiffer Andrew recently posted on our Facebook wall about a free AcneFree offer. Like them, request the freebie, then free your acne to roam wild on a farm upstate.

I call bologna on this free Better Homes and Gardens magazine subscription. I’ve been receiving this magazine for months now. Yet no matter how often I throw my issues against the wall, they never seem to better my home. In fact, they make it look like I just throw trash everywhere.

I guarantee this dies fast, so good luck. Also, make sure you uncheck the box at the bottom where it asks if you want to join some opinion survey site.

One day I’ll correctly type free Tena Twist instead of Tina Twist on my first attempt. Then a flock of pigs will fly in formation overhead and elves will do all my laundry.