Free Carmex Lip Balm

For as long as I can remember, I've always suffered from massive chapped lips every winter. But as a kid, I didn't really know what was wrong and thus I always licked my chops to try and sooth them. My mom finally spotted me doing so one day and after a quick inspection, pulled into the nearest pharmacy parking lot and told me to run in and buy something called Carmex. And….

Little Goob: Hi, do you have any Carmex for sale?
Old Lady Behind The Counter: No, sorry son.
Goob: Are you sure? My mom said I could get some Carmex in here.
OLBTC: Trust me, we don't sell that here. Besides, those things are good for nothing anyway.
Goob: But my lips are really chapped and they hurt! Don't you have anything I can buy?
OLBTC: How the heck are comics going to help cure your chapped lips?

Luckily for me, I don't have to go into a pharmacy anymore and spend ten minutes trying to tell people I want Carmex and not comics. Why? Because I can just sign up for this free Carmex lip balm and have it sent straight to me in the mail!