Freebies and free stuff

EDIT: Dead as a … uh … something that’s dead.

This free 5-Hour Energy should arrive at our doorstep in the next five hours. That’s how it works, right? Because I’m really dragging today. I even tried eating raw coffee grinds in order to get the caffeine in my system faster, but my body seems to have rejected it.

Okay, Freebie Gods, very funny. I freely admit I ate my fair share of baked goods over the previous weeks, but this free 7 day pass to 24Hour Fitness is a little much.

I like the idea of 24 hour gyms though. I find the only time I feel like working out is when I’m delusively drunk at 4am.

Upon liking them on Facebook, you’ll receive a free BiProUSA whey protein sample pack. I don’t “work out” in the traditional sense, but this will be perfect for my custom daily routine. Lugging all those freebies from the mailbox to my room takes a lot out of me.

I thought with working out more that I would have more suppliments and eat more. Sadly? I find myself counting calories and watching what I’m eating even more. So while I thought originally I might get much use out of these two free Quest bars? I have a feeling that I’ll just spend 15 more minutes on the treadmill to justify them…

Goob Says: This offer asks you to like them on Facebook in order to “confirm” your order. To heck with that. I didn’t do it, so I might not get them.

Let’s see. It’s close to Christmas, I’m about to be home with my family for a week or two, and I’m going to be doing a bit of cooking. Yep, it’s time to stock up on a little free Prilosec OTC.

This is the fourth time I’ve posted a free Schiff MegaRed krill oil offer and I still don’t know what this stuff is. I can’t wait until I’m applying for another job sometime in the next decade.

Guy in Suit: So, what did you do at your previous job?
Goob: Uh. I found links to freebies and then made corny jokes.
Suit: And…
Goob: That’s it. I didn’t know what I was doing half the time though.
Suit: …
Goob: I’ll show myself out.

Sometimes I wish the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come would hurry up and get here so I can see whether or not I get buried in a freak pile of freebies.

The first 40,000 people to sign up on Facebook will receive free Sundown Naturals fish oil. Trust me, this is the way to go when it comes to obtaining fish oil. Catching them in the wild then trying to squeeze it out gets messy real fast.

It’s been over three years since I last posted these free Trojan condoms. Unfortunately something PG rated to say about them still eludes me.

I’ve been working out again. Yup. After all of my posts saying that I’m going to do it, I actually have been. No, I don’t mean leaning over to pick up a donut box, but I figure turning on bad movies and sitting on our exercise bike is something, right?

So why would I turn off Kull the Conqueror and turn on one of these free fitness DVDs? I don’t think I could turn off anything Kevin Zorbo is in. Seriously.

Here’s a page to obtain a 3 sample packets of Sinus Rinse Extra Strength, which is a sinus rinsing something that does something for congested noses. If that ringing endorsement didn’t encourage you to sign up, how about this humdinger of a fact. “Some research shows that hypertonic (2.7%) or more concentrated solution may help reduce sinus congestion better than isotonic (0.9%) solution.” I have no idea what that means, but it sounds technical and therefor impressive. I’m easily persuaded by science.