I rarely discover freebies while watching my favorite shows. Yet it was announced on The Colbert Report last night that local Ben & Jerry ice cream stores will be giving free Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream ice cream on Valentine’s Day from 5-8pm. I plan on doubling this event as a place for meeting other singles. You’ll know they have great taste in comedy and desserts, which by my calculations makes them at least 90% compatible.

How is it that Dr. Oz got into giving away so many freebies? I thought he was a doctor. Is there medical evidence that freebies make you healthier? Let’s say … yes.

Today he’s giving away 20,000 coupons at 3pm EST for free Amy’s Light in Sodium Bean & Cheese Burrito. This is clearly one of those freebies being announced in advance and you all know how I feel about that. Best of luck.

Want to win a Kindle Fire? Sure you do. Why wouldn’t you? They’re portable, fun to use, and great for secretly reading goofy books without others judging you. That’s why I’ve teamed up with nine fellow sites to give away two free Amazon Kindle Fire tablets to our readers!

• Adventures of a Couponista
• I Heart the Mart
• Deal Seeking Mom
• Budget Savvy Diva
• Cuckoo for Coupon Deals
• I Heart Publix
• My Litter
• Wild for Wags
• Coupon Mamacita

In order to enter the contest, simply Like the Facebook pages below then fill out the entry form with your name and email. 30 seconds of work – that’s all it takes to win an awesome prize. Maybe 60, tops, and that’s only if you’re also talking on the phone or holding a baby or wrestling a co-worker.

The contest ends on Feb 8th at 11:59pm EST, but there’s no reason to wait that long.

Don’t forget to “Share” this giveaway with your friends!

Hiffer Mike alerted me to the fact that the free Nescafe Taster’s Choice coffee offer is back from vacation. Make sure it doesn’t corner. It has five vacation photo albums that it’s quite proud to show off.

This is a Facebook offer and only available for people who have never previously signed up.

To celebrate turning 29 years old, you can get three free Bruegger’s bagels on February 9th. Just like them on Facebook and print out the coupon (which is different than the image above, so don’t go printing that).

As luck would have it, I’m turning 29 on February 7. Does that mean I’m supposed to give three bagels to anybody who asks that day? Shouldn’t people be giving me free bagels? Whatever, I’ve got some baking to do.

What’s this free Nozin Nasal Sanatizer? In their own words:

Think Hand Sanitizer for Your Nose.

Oh, okay. It’s like when I go out to dinner and use a squirt of hand sanitizer before I start eating. But…wait, who’s eating with their noses?

Here’s the thing. You can either sign up for a free Triple Action Purex detergent sample now or wait “a few weeks” to get free Purex UltraPacks detergent. I feel like one of those kids in the famous delayed gratification study. I’m staring at the signup form, trying to figure out why I suddenly have the urge to complete it. I don’t even want to do laundry, I just want the freebie!

Ah, screw it, I’m signing up now. Ohhhh yeah, that’s the stuff.

There’s a stupid auto-play video, so make sure your speakers aren’t jacked up.

The ol’ free Quaker Oatmeal Squares Honey Nut cereal offer is back!

Anybody else think that term is weird. The freebie “is back?” It makes it sound as if it went on vacation or had a spell in rehab.

EDIT: Awww, this is dead.

This free Blue Goo pain relief gel is one of those sites that looks spammy, but actually checks out. They’re even the official pain relief gel of the Los Angeles Lakers! So…that’s a thing.

Add the sample to your cart, then use the checkout link in the top right. You shouldn’t be asked for any payment information, only a shipping address and email.

Let’s start with the bad news. This free Comforts for Baby coupon booklet is not available in the following states: CT, DE, FL, HI, IA, MA, MD, ME, MO, ND, NH, NJ, NY, PA, RI, SD, VT, and WI. Don’t ask why, because I have no idea. I could make something up if that helps. Maybe this company believes there are no babies in those states. Who knows, people have had stranger beliefs.

Oh, yeah, the good news. Um. This post is over?