HIF Exclusive Freebies

5 Fool-Proof Fixes to Handle Coupon Rejection!

Angry Couponing

Photo © catalin82 from sxc.hu.

We’ve all been there. You’re checking out with a million items, the kids are fighting over Frosted Chocolate Flakes or Cocoa Sugar Squares, and is there even a bottle of wine left in the rack at home?

Then what happens when you get ready to pay? The dang register rejects that $0.50 coupon you planned to use! What now?!

  1. Cry. Seriously, how is this not your go-to move? Cry, wail, let the river of snot flow as you curl into a fetal position in front of the register and moan to your deity of choice how life is unfair. This should solve 80% of situations.
  2. Scream. Crying didn’t work? Well then, it’s on to causing a scene! Get angry! Demand to see the manager. Start throwing things! There’s always candy bars within arm’s reach. Go for a Snickers, those condensed peanuts pack a wallop.
  3. Cut a deal. Okay, violence won’t get your anywhere. Let me guess, the checkout person looks to still be in high school, right? Slip them a $20! Heck, grab a pack of cigarettes and some Mike’s Hard Lemonade and ask which car is theirs. If those items just happened to end up in their trunk, well…just make sure there aren’t any security cameras in the parking lot.
  4. Give up. You’re right, bribing minors with illegal goods probably isn’t the smartest idea in the world. Thanks, Dr. Nerdburger. Fine, you have any better ideas?! If nothing has worked at this point, then you might be screwed. Looks like you won’t be saving a Kennedy and you know what that means? You’re half a dollar closer to being broke and on the street. Way to go, Parent of the Year over here.
  5. Gain inner peace. Ahhh, what the hell, right? We’re talking about half the price of a Redbox after all. Accept the fact that it’s just not meant to be and move on. Though grabbing another bottle of wine probably isn’t a bad idea. Just in case.

Of course, I’m no lawyer, so you probably shouldn’t take any of this advice to heart nor act on it.

Free State Maps Guide

Free State Maps

A few years ago I made a post with links to physical free state maps that was well received. I decided to revisit the post recently and transfer it to it’s own page, kind of like how I did with the birthday freebies section. I’ll keep it updated regularly since I find these maps go great in glove boxes and even bug out bags for those who have them.

I was able to find free physical maps for all 50 states, though many come in yearly tourism guides. You can of course rip those out for easier storage, but I also checked with each state’s department of transportation and found free foldable maps for a decent chunk of the country. And finally I rewrote the “jokes” for most of the states, so at the very least you have something to read if you get bored at work today!

2012 Holiday Gift Ideas for Guys

Goob's 2012 Holiday Gift Ideas

Chances are HIF isn’t the only freebie site you traffic. One obvious difference you’ve probably noticed is that I hardly ever publish deals. I don’t even think I mentioned Black Friday or Cyber Monday this year and I’ve never been big on posting HOT coupons or SUPER deals because…ugh. That’s just not my cup of tea.

Part of the reason I avoid coupons and deals so much is because I don’t want to publish 10 or 20 posts a day. Another reason is I don’t shop that much! I rarely know if something is a great deal, so I don’t like pretending to be an authority on something I’m not. And finally most deal blogs cover (A) female stuff (B) children stuff and (C) coupons. I’m not a woman, I don’t have kids, and here’s my dirty secret – I suck at couponing. I just don’t do it. Like, at all.

It makes sense that so many sites cover those topics though. Most of you reading this are female and most people running deal blogs are as well. But here’s the thing. I’m a dude. Without kids. And that’s something I’m an authority at.

A common refrain from the women in my life is that guys are hard to buy gifts for. Particularly me. I find that crazy, because I’m incredibly thankful and appreciative for anything given to me. But I’m always told I’m hard to shop for because I like everything and I imagine that most guys in their twenties are the same way.

So I decided to put together a list of my favorite things just in case you too are having trouble buying gifts for the guys in your life.

These aren’t deals. Chances are everything is selling for what it normally does, though I did try to provide coupons and matchups where I could find them. More to the point is that every single item below are things that I use in my daily life and absolutely love. They were either given to me or I stumbled across them by accident at some point. They’re things that I would give my own brothers and as such have earned the Goob Stamp of Approval.

Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Guys

Whiskey Rocks for $19.95 15.95? – It’s no secret that a splash of water brings out the flavor in good whiskey, but one thing I hate is when the ice melts and waters it down. Enter whiskey rocks. You store them in the freezer, throw them in your drink, and you suddenly have a cool but not watered down beverage.


Moleskine for $9.60 – These are hands down the best affordable notebooks I’ve come across. As I’ve mentioned before, I carry a pocket-sized, ruled, softcover notebook with me everywhere I go. They have a hardcover line as well (and actually a whole array of products from sketchpads to Lord of the Rings themed pads), but their basic ruled notepads are the ones I’m in love with. When you have a memory like mine, this is how you make sure never to forget.

Uniball Jetstream Pens

uni-ball Jetstream pens for $8.12 – Some of you may remember these pens from a few years back when they were given away as freebies. Well that’s when I got hooked – they’re fantastic. Though you can probably get them cheaper at your local store. Maybe not. To be honest, I buy them in bulk, but I doubt you’ll want to pay $20 for a box of 12 pens.

Tide To Go Stain Pen

Tide To Go for $8.21 – I’m a klutz and I hate doing laundry. Need I say more? I keep one of these in my messenger bag at all times and I can’t count the number of stains they’ve saved me from.


Baseball for … like $15? – This is one of those things that you need to buy in a store. But having a real baseball next to my computer is such a stress reliever. I can’t tell you the number of times I pick it up throughout the day and walk around my apartment tossing it to myself just to think or clear my head.

Big Present Ideas for Guys

Yankee Candle for Guys

Yankee Candle for $23.99 – I don’t care what any guy says, having a nice candle around is a good thing that we all enjoy. Whether we’re entertaining a lady friend or trying to clear the air after a night of Mexican food. I personally like the Drift Away scent or many of the other wood/water related scents. Try to stay away from any food smells. Those always make me unnecessarily hungry. You get the best bang for your buck with the larger candles since they burn for over 120 hours.

If you decide to make a purchase in-store, here’s a $20 off $45 coupon. You can also get 50% off all small jar candles. You’ll probably end up getting better deals that way.

SwissGear Computer Backpack

SwissGear Computer Backpack for $44.99 34.99? – This backpack can take a beating while protecting your laptop. It’s padded, it’s got decent storage space, tons of little loops and belts if you need them, and what I use when travel. I also have a SwissGear laptop bag, which kind of looks like a messenger bag, but I got that in a Beijing market. Even SwissGear knockoffs hold up well!

Keurig B70 Coffee Maker

Keurig Coffee Brewer for $80 to $145 – There are way too many different versions of Keurig coffee makers, but thanks to the recommendations of my friends on Facebook, I got the B70 pictured above this summer and now float 10 inches off the ground all day long thanks to a constant intake of caffeine. My major reservation about these were the requirement of buying K-cups, but it turns out you can get them for $0.50 on average (as low as $0.25 if on sale) or you can still buy ground coffee since they come with a contraption that lets you make you own k-cups.

The best deals for these seem to be at Kohl’s. I’d honestly suggest getting one with a water tank, otherwise you have to put water in each time you make coffee, thus taking away some of the convenience of the machine.

Thanks to Moms Need to Know for the matchups below.

Keurig Mini for $99.99
Use Coupon Code THANKS2677 for 15% off.
Final Price is $84.99 + $10 Kohl’s Cash making it $74.99
Note: Consider adding anything priced at $0.01 or more to your order. This enables you to use code ORNAMENTS for 20% off.

Keurig B40 Elite for $119.99
Use Coupon Code ORNAMENTS for 20% off.
Final Price is $95.99 + $10 Kohl’s Cash making it $85.99
Note: Consider adding $4.01 more to your order to qualify for $20 in total Kohl’s Cash.

Keurig B60 Special Edition for $149.99
Use Coupon Code ORNAMENTS for 20% off.
Final Price is $119.99 + $20 Kohl’s Cash making it $99.99

Keurig B70 Platinum for $179.99
Use Coupon Code ORNAMENTS for 20% off.
Final Price is $143.99 + $20 Kohl’s Cash making it $123.99
Note: Consider adding $6.01 more to your order to qualify for $30 in total Kohl’s Cash.

Amazon Kindle Keyboard

Kindle Keyboard for $119 to $159 – I read voraciously as a child and then fell out of it for a while starting in high school. A few years back I had the opportunity to get a Kindle and my world changed. I’ve read more in the past three years than I had the previously decade. The one pictured above is the older model, which I prefer, however the newer model is cheaper. I actually had my original Kindle stolen this autumn, so I picked up a newer Kindle Paperwhite, which has built-in lighting. My only gripe is there’s no buttons on it, so in order to turn the page you have to manually tap the screen and it’s not that responsive.

If you go with the newer models, don’t bother with the 3G versions. It’s not worth the extra cost and weight.

Asics Onitsuka Tiger 81 Shoes

Asics Onitsuka Tiger 81 Shoes for $51.99 – I never in a million years thought I’d rave about shoes, but these are the bees knees. They’re extremely lightweight and supposedly made 30 years ago for running, though the only running I do is to the subway station a block away. Zappos has them on sale plus they have a million color combos and free returns. I do want to note that they breathe so well that you don’t want to wear them in rain as they get soaked pretty quick.

Lands End No Iron Pinpoint Shirts

Lands’ End No Iron Pinpoint shirts for $40 to $54 – And finally we have dress shirts, yet another product that I never thought I’d care about. It’s no secret that I can work in nothing but my underwear every day and the only person to find out is the mailman. However I like to actually get dressed every morning just so it feels like I’m going to work and I don’t slack off. And Lands’ End shirts are the best. You can pair them with slacks and throw a tie on or wear them out at night with jeans. Plus the no-iron ones never require ironing (just hang them in a steamy bathroom if they get wrinkled) and they never stain thanks to those Tide pens above.

So there ya go. All of the stuff listed above can be found in my apartment and I stand by them as good gifts. Hope that helps a few people this holiday season.

Guide to Unlike Facebook Pages and Delete Profile Applications

I first posted this in December 2010, but with so many changes to Facebook since then I thought it was time to update and repost it.

LAST UPDATED: 08-15-2013

The most frequent question I get is “Goob, how do you stay so fit and handsome?” To which I reply, “please, please, let’s just talk about freebies.” The second most frequent question pertains to Facebook freebies. In order to get them, you have to like a company and/or add their application to your profile. However, what happens after signing up? The company hopes you’ll move along on your merry way and forget all about unliking them or deleting the application. But that’s not how we Hiffers roll.

Make A Dummy Account

First off, people complain about having to like a company. I understand that, as I don’t really like Emergen-C or Ritz or Burt’s Bees enough to “like” them on my personal Facebook account. So you know what I did? I used my freebie email address to make a second, fake Facebook account. I didn’t add any friends to it, I used a fake name, and I snagged a random picture off Google Images to use as my profile image. It’s what I suggest people do and I’ve had no trouble with it so far.

View All Your Pages & Easily Dislike

One of the big problems now is it’s hard to see all of the pages you like. But not impossible. The first step is going to your Facebook Newsfeed, finding Pages on the left column, and hovering to the right in order to see a blue More link. Click it.

See All Facebook Pages I Like

Now click the Create A Page button then Pages I Like.

See All Facebook Pages You Like

See All Liked Facebook Pages

Now you can see every page you’ve liked and quickly unlike any that you so desire.

Unlike A Single Facebook Page

But let’s say you’ve already liked a certain page and want to just take care of it. If that’s the case, go any specific page that you want to unlike. Let’s go with Mucinex. Once there, look for a box near the top right that says Liked with a check mark. Hover over it and you’ll be able to unlike that page. You will no longer like the Facebook page and it won’t show up in your news feed or on your profile.

Unlike Facebook Page

Delete A Facebook Application

Now what about those apps that want to access your Facebook info or post info on your own wall? To delete those, go to the top right of any page and click the down arrow -> Privacy Settings.
Delete Facebook App

Once this page loads, you’ll want to look on the left sidebar for Apps.

Remove Facebook App

Now you’ll see a bunch of options here, but you’ll first want to click the tiny “Show All Apps” link and then go through them all. You can edit their settings or delete them outright with the X.

Remove Facebook App

And that should do it. Hopefully this helps a few Hiffers out there in cleaning up their Facebook accounts while also still being able to get Facebook freebies.

Remember, if you make a Facebook account only for freebies, like I suggested earlier, then there’s no real reason to Unlike or delete any of the profile apps as there isn’t any information for them to access in the first place!

Questions? Comments? Insults? Fire away in the comments below.

Stock Coupon Photos Are The Best

Stupid stock coupon photo

If you’re a longtime reader of coupon, freebie, or deal blogs then you’ve seen the image above. You at least recognize the model. Chances are you’ve seen her more times than you’ve seen yourself in a mirror.

Long story short I got bored tonight and fell down the istock rabbit hole. If you view any of her photos, you’ll see a link titled “Click here to view more images in the series: female40 model.” Thus we can safely conclude her name is female40 model, or F40M to her friends.

F40M is also super proud of accomplishing rudimentary tasks.

Stupid stock coupon photo

Look, I'm using a coupon!

Stupid stock coupon photo

Look, I found some juice!

Stupid stock coupon photo

Look, I'm paying for my bananas instead of stealing them!

You may have noticed that she’s wearing a different shirt in that last photos. That’s because she has quite an array of photos spanning all sorts of “activities.”

Stupid stock coupon photo

She helps kids build gingerbread houses.

Stupid stock coupon photo

She creeps on people with a hairdryer.

Stupid stock coupon photo

She stuns her vet by feeding the dog unopened food.

Stupid stock coupon photo

She's caught reselling her supermarket purchases at a farmer's market?

Stupid stock coupon photo

Look, flowers!!

The checkout guy is now buying flowers with her. And she’s wearing the same shirt as when she bought groceries. F40M moves fast.

Of course, she’s not the only coupon chick you see around.

Stupid stock coupon photo

Use these coupons or I will cut you.

Stupid stock coupon photo

I'm fairly certain that's not a legit coupon or website.

Speaking of coupon fraud, most of the coupons in the pictures below are the same. I’d totally watch a hybrid of COPS and Extreme Couponing. TLC, call me.

Stupid stock coupon photo

Nope, nothing crazy here...

Stupid stock coupon photo

Ah, it looks like you actually forgot to use those coupons.

Stupid stock coupon photos

Is she shopping at King’s Cross station

Stupid stock coupon photos

Turns out you can buy a baby with coupons.

However none of those are my favorite stock coupon image. The runner up is:

Stupid stock coupon photo

Get a room.

I don’t know why that shows up when you search for “coupons” on a stock image site, but just look at her. Who gets that blissful picking breakfast snacks? There is totally another plain of emotions we’re not privy to at work here.

But the current reigning champion?

Stupid stock coupon photos

Cleanup in aisle 4.

The actual title of the above image is “FREEDOM!” When will people realize children peeing in the middle of the pasta aisle is no laughing matter?

For the record, this is the kind of stuff I do when bored. :D I love that the only category I can place this in is “HIF Exclusive.”

Get HIF Back On Your Facebook Homepage

Facebook changed stuff recently and now some people are having trouble seeing our Facebook updates on their homepage. Hey, don’t look at me! Zuckerberg screwed things up.

Facebook Lists for Freebies

First, let’s talk about Facebook Lists. They’re a new feature and they’re awesome. You can create lists and add certain people and pages to them. Family and Close Friends are no-brainer types of lists, but why not make a freebies list?

To start, go to the Facebook homepage and you’ll notice that your lefthand sidebar should look something like this. Click the “more” link next to Lists.

Add a Facebook List for freebies

Click here to keep reading this guide

How to Delete Twitter Apps

I figured it was time for me to post a tutorial on deleting Twitter apps. Why? Because I care. Also, I’m super bored and the half dozen people I’m playing in Chess With Friends are taking hours to make their moves. I’m half convinced they’ve got a program calculating every possibility to help cheat.

Before we get started, if you’re so inclined, you can follow HIF and/or myself on Twitter. The HIF feed is for freebies while my feed is where I swear about stupid things in my life. It’s fun.

So, the one thing we have going for us is revoking access on Twitter is a whole heck of a lot easier than on Facebook. Step one, obviously, is logging into your account. Once there, you want to click the arrow next to your name in the top right.

How to revoke access on Twitter


An Open Letter To Freebie Giverawayers

Dear Giant Faceless Global Conglomerates,

Hi, I’m Goob. You may remember me from such internal memos as “this loser keeps making fun of our dog perfume” and “does anyone know if we still have that hitman on retainer?” I’m here to ask that you, for the sake of my sanity, please stop announcing future freebie giveaways. Why? Because you screw them up.

Here’s an idea: release a freebie then tip off a few bloggers. Seriously, it’s that easy. Hit me up. I’ll gladly put you in touch with two dozen of the biggest freebie bloggers who would love to share your offer with our combined billions of readers. ((margin of error: +/- a few billion.)) We’re all nice guys and gals who, myself excluded, ((I’m still going to mock you as long as you insist on botching these giveaways and branding your products with stupid names.)) would be happy to write about your freebies with nary a negative comment. Plus think how nice it would be if your site wasn’t constantly down thanks to a deluge of people sent all at once!

I’m sure my withered olive branch won’t be enough for some companies though. You want your giveaways to be “events!” You want to reward your Facebook fans for proclaiming to the world “I LOVE DEODORANT!” I get it. So how about this – give your IT guy a heads up. Take it from a fellow hunk poindexter, he won’t wet his pants and cry when you tell him there are going to be an extra 25,000 people on your site at noon tomorrow. He’ll beef up the system and, surprise surprise, your damn site won’t crash!

I had a company once ask if I’d like to help consult for their upcoming series of giveaways. I don’t think I best expressed my flattery when I laughed and said “just make sure you have enough #$@*ing servers to handle the surge of traffic.” Guess what they didn’t do. o_O

So, in conclusion, stop wasting my readers time and start listening to me.

Forever Yours,


Free Birthday and eClub Goodies

Updated on 05-29-2014

One of the first things I did after starting HIF was get to work on our massive free birthday food list. Four years later it’s easily the most popular post I’ve ever made. I like to think it’s because of the half dozen jokes scattered throughout it.

But let’s be honest, it’s not the prettiest thing in the world. I’ve been wanting to give it a nice overhaul for a while. In addition, I’ve been wondering just how accurate some of the information is. So a few weeks ago I started from scratch and began signing up for each and every birthday club listed (plus a few dozen new ones!) My birthday is in two weeks and the offers have started to trickle in, so the new page will be completed shortly.

To make matters awesomer, almost every restaurant on the list offers some sort of freebie just for signing up! So starting now I’ll be posting one or two restaurants each day and highlighting what their eClub and birthday freebies are. First up: Atlanta Bread Company!

Signup Freebie: Free bowl of soup with the purchase of a full sandwich or salad.
Birthday Freebie: Free cookie.

How to Delete Facebook Apps & Likes

This post is outdated. I have an updated guide on how to unlike Facebook pages and remove profile applications here!

The most frequent question I get is “Goob, how do you stay so fit and handsome?” To which I reply, “please, please, let’s just talk about freebies.” The second most frequent question pertains to Facebook freebies. In order to get most of them, you have to like a company and/or add their application to your profile. However, what happens after signing up? The company hopes you’ll move along on your merry way and forget all about unliking them / deleting the application, but I’m here to show an alternative. The way I see it, each and every Hiffer should be able to get Facebook freebies.