Freebies and free stuff

Facebook changed stuff recently and now some people are having trouble seeing our Facebook updates on their homepage. Hey, don’t look at me! Zuckerberg screwed things up.

Facebook Lists for Freebies

First, let’s talk about Facebook Lists. They’re a new feature and they’re awesome. You can create lists and add certain people and pages to them. Family and Close Friends are no-brainer types of lists, but why not make a freebies list?

To start, go to the Facebook homepage and you’ll notice that your lefthand sidebar should look something like this. Click the “more” link next to Lists.

Click here to keep reading this guide

I figured it was time for me to post a tutorial on deleting Twitter apps. Why? Because I care. Also, I’m super bored and the half dozen people I’m playing in Chess With Friends are taking hours to make their moves. I’m half convinced they’ve got a program calculating every possibility to help cheat.

Before we get started, if you’re so inclined, you can follow HIF and/or myself on Twitter. The HIF feed is for freebies while my feed is where I swear about stupid things in my life. It’s fun.

So, the one thing we have going for us is revoking access on Twitter is a whole heck of a lot easier than on Facebook. Step one, obviously, is logging into your account. Once there, you want to click the arrow next to your name in the top right.

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Dear Giant Faceless Global Conglomerates,

Hi, I’m Goob. You may remember me from such internal memos as “this loser keeps making fun of our dog perfume” and “does anyone know if we still have that hitman on retainer?” I’m here to ask that you, for the sake of my sanity, please stop announcing future freebie giveaways. Why? Because you screw them up.

Here’s an idea: release a freebie then tip off a few bloggers. Seriously, it’s that easy. Hit me up. I’ll gladly put you in touch with two dozen of the biggest freebie bloggers who would love to share your offer with our combined billions of readers.¹ We’re all nice guys and gals who, myself excluded,² would be happy to write about your freebies with nary a negative comment. Plus think how nice it would be if your site wasn’t constantly down thanks to a deluge of people sent all at once!

I’m sure my withered olive branch won’t be enough for some companies though. You want your giveaways to be “events!” You want to reward your Facebook fans for proclaiming to the world “I LOVE DEODORANT!” I get it. So how about this – give your IT guy a heads up. Take it from a fellow hunk poindexter, he won’t wet his pants and cry when you tell him there are going to be an extra 25,000 people on your site at noon tomorrow. He’ll beef up the system and, surprise surprise, your damn site won’t crash!

I had a company once ask if I’d like to help consult for their upcoming series of giveaways. I don’t think I best expressed my flattery when I laughed and said “just make sure you have enough #$@*ing servers to handle the surge of traffic.” Guess what they didn’t do. o_O

So, in conclusion, stop wasting my readers time and start listening to me.

Forever Yours,

Goob

1. margin of error: +/- a few billion. [↩]
2. I’m still going to mock you as long as you insist on botching these giveaways and branding your products with stupid names. [↩]

One of the first things I did after starting HIF was get to work on our massive free birthday food list. Four years later it’s easily the most popular post I’ve ever made. I like to think it’s because of the half dozen jokes scattered throughout it.

But let’s be honest, it’s not the prettiest thing in the world. I’ve been wanting to give it a nice overhaul for a while. In addition, I’ve been wondering just how accurate some of the information is. So a few weeks ago I started from scratch and began signing up for each and every birthday club listed (plus a few dozen new ones!) My birthday is in two weeks and the offers have started to trickle in, so the new page will be completed shortly.

To make matters awesomer, almost every restaurant on the list offers some sort of freebie just for signing up! So starting now I’ll be posting one or two restaurants each day and highlighting what their eClub and birthday freebies are. First up: Atlanta Bread Company!

Signup Freebie: Free bowl of soup with the purchase of a full sandwich or salad.
Birthday Freebie: Free cookie.
Bonus Freebie: If you like them on Facebook, you get another free cookie.

The most frequent question I get is “Goob, how do you stay so fit and handsome?” To which I reply, “please, please, let’s just talk about freebies.” The second most frequent question pertains to Facebook freebies. In order to get most of them, you have to like a company and/or add their application to your profile. However, what happens after signing up? The company hopes you’ll move along on your merry way and forget all about unliking them / deleting the application, but I’m here to show an alternative. The way I see it, each and every Hiffer should be able to get Facebook freebies.

LAST UPDATED: 10-17-2011

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As we come down the Christmas home stretch, some of us still have a little shopping to do. *looks around sheepishly* One easy present is always gift cards and at this time of year, stores are offering freebies on top of them! Below, I’ve compiled a list of every such joint that I could find.

Most of these freebies are a “bonus card” instead of a “gift card,” which basically means that they’re one-time use only. As opposed to a gift card, a bonus card doesn’t carry a balance. So, for instance, if you had a $5 bonus card, you’d want to use it on a purchase that was over $5, so that you could use the entire card. If you tried to use it on a purchase of $3, then your purchase would be free, but you’d also be losing out on $2.

And as always, please make sure you read the fine print. Most of these have expiration dates as soon as February and March. Also, many of the rewards cards have the stipulation that they cannot be used to purchase alcohol.

Oh yeah, this list is pretty repetitive and boring. I realized halfway through that most of the stores were offering only slight variations of the same freebies, so they all read more or less the same. You may want to simply scan the list and look for any stores you might be interested in buying a card from.

Abercrombie – Make a $100 purchase in-store and get a $25 gift card! They’re also running a $200/$50 offer.

Applebee’s – Buy $50 in gift cards and get a $10 bonus card.

Benihana – Buy $50 in gift cards and get a $10 bonus card.

Bonefish Grill – Buy $100 worth of gift cards and you’ll (A) get a $20 rewards card and (B) be entered into a contest to win $5,000.

Bruster’s – They have a few different deals going: a free $5 gift card with the purchase of a $25 gift card, as well as $10/$50 and $20/$100.

Buca Di Beppo – Get a $25 reward card for every $100 in gift card purchases.

Buffalo Wild Wings – Buy a $25 gift card and get $5 back (though I can’t tell if this is in cash or reward card form).

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I come across dozens of fake freebies every day. 99.99% of them quickly die, but like a crazy ex, some hang around and simply refuse to go away. Case in point, the “free Snuggie” offer that popped up in October. I still get an e-mail or two each day suggesting I post it, and while I hate to be the bearer of bad news, there’s no way it’s coming.

However, I thought I could use it to show how I vet freebies when I’m unable to contact the freebie company directly. So if you’re interested in learning more about the process as well as following along while I hunt down who exactly is behind this spreebie (I just made that word up), then please read along. Warning, it’s fairly lengthy.

Let’s review this spam offer!

This coming Wednesday, November 11 is Veterans Day and since I’m far too much of a wuss to serve in the military, I thought the least I could do was put together a list of freebies available to active military members and veterans. Most (all?) of the offers below require nothing more than proof of military service in order to get the freebie.

Applebee’s – Applebee’s is offering free meals all day long! Well, the offer is all day long, I doubt they’ll let you actually eat meal after meal throughout the entire day. But heck, why not try?!

Golden Gorral – A ginormous video staring Gary Sinise pops up on this page, which makes perfect sense. When I think of Veterans Day and Golden Corral, I obviously complete the trifecta with thoughts of Gary Sinise. Anyway, GC is giving away a free military appreciation thank you dinner on Monday, Nov. 16 from 5-9pm.

Krispy Kreme – All veterans and active military personnel can get a free doughnut of any variety, including glazed, kreme filled, and chocolate cake. Whoa, whoa, whoa – chocolate cake doughnuts? Wouldn’t that simply be a slice of chocolate cake? Somebody at Krispy Kreme Laboratories needs to stop slacking off and come up with better ideas.

McCormick and Schmicks – They’re hosting a special dinner on Sunday, Nov. 8 and space is limited. There’s a reservation form at the bottom of their page, so RSVP today if you want to attend! Parties cannot be larger than 6 though.

*NEW* Outback Steakhouse – All veterans and active duty military get a free Bloomin’ Onion and beverage.

Sam’s Club – Over 25,000 Hugo canes will be given away free of charge to United States military veterans in need of mobility assistance. Sam’s Club membership is not required, but supplies are limited so you may want to call your local store before heading there.

Uno Chicago Grill – They’re offering a free entree or individual pizza with an entree or pizza purchase of equal or greater value. A BOGO isn’t the best offer on this list, but at least you can feed the entire family for half the price.

U.S. Department of Interior – All of the areas managed by the DOI is offering free admission to any and everyone on Veterans Day. This includes all national parks, forests, and monuments.

Those are all of the national freebies I could find for Veterans Day, however there are a ton of local offers available in a few dozen states. Military Avenue seems to have the best collection of them, so be sure to check them out! And by all means, if you know of a nationwide freebie I missed, please let us know about it in the comments!

We’re only a few days away from Halloween and so I thought I’d whip up a post of freebies that are available this coming Saturday. Apparently I’m now too old to steal my siblings candy, so I’ll have to take advantage of a few of the freebies below.

Free Black Jack Taco – Taco Bell is giving away tacos from 6pm until midnight.

Free Chipotle Burrito – After leaving Taco Bell, drive over to Chipotle between 6pm and close to get a free burrito. You have to dress up as a burrito in order to get a freebie, but last year my brother just wrapped a loop or two of tin foil on his head and he was good to go. Unfortunately he’s still wearing it as I convinced him I have telepathic powers.

Free Lamination at Mardel – I’ve never heard of Mardel, but apparently they’re a Christian and education store in Arkansas, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, and Texas. And the best part is that they’re offering free lamination of anything up to 50 feet. If I lived near a store, I’d take them up on this offer in a heartbeat and laminate the most mundane items. via Freebies 4 Mom – thanks!

Free Event & Prizes at Michaels – From 10am-noon, stop in at your local Michaels to get a free trick-or-treat pail. Plus, they’ll have a free coloring activity with free Crayola Model Magic Fusion and build a Make-It Take-It Halloween frame. Children will also receive a balloon and candy because that’s exactly what they need on Halloween – an early start on the sugar intake followed by a helium chaser!

Free Menchies Frozen Yogurt – Available on Friday and Saturday, you can get a free frozen yogurt at participating stores if you print out a silly hat and wear it in. There’s a slideshow of people wearing the hat on their site and I must say, those people look way too happy and shameless. via Rain – thanks!

Free Toys R Us Treats and Giveaways – I have no idea what “treats and giveaways” mean, but that’s what will be given away from noon-3pm on Halloween. The press release I linked to is long, but here’s the good stuff:

Toys”R”Us stores nationwide will host Trick “R” Treat events on Halloween, complete with costume parades, complimentary treats and giveaways.

As always, you might want to call ahead and make sure your local store is participating.

Bass Pro Shop Freebies – On Friday from 4-7pm there will be a trick-or-treat event throughout the store with a kids’ costume parade at 6pm. Then on Halloween from noon-4pm, there will be mask decorating, marshmallow roasting, and sample dutch over apple cobbler. I one time dropped a mini-dutch oven in a river as a kid. Well, it wasn’t so much “dropped” as “used it as a submarine for my army men.” I got away with it too – sorry, Dad!

Free Mattel Toy at Sears – Bring your child in to any Toy Shop at Sears and get a free Mattel toy. In addition, they have a $5 off $20 toy purchase coupon available. It’s valid between now and 11/1, so you could use it for a Christmas present or something. Be sure to click the red “click for store locations” on their site to see if your store is participating. It looks like mainly stores in California and Illinois are in on the offer, though I suspect any store will take the coupon.

Free YoCrunch Yogurt Coupon – For up to two weeks after Halloween, you can send in any candy wrappers in exchange for a coupon good for any YoCrunch yogurt. Yea! Eat candy and then get free candy yogurt! You’ll probably want to include a note with your address on it as well. Wrappers can be sent to the following address:

Shaina Zalma
YoCrunch
9507 Santa Monica Blvd., Suite 300
Beverly Hills, CA 90210

Discount Sonic Food – I couldn’t find anything official My local Sonic said they were participating in an offer to sell $0.50 corndogs from 5pm-midnight on Halloween. Nicole from Savvy Shopper was kind enough to forward me some official info that shows this is a nationwide event!

Free Brunswick Bowling Coupons – And finally, don’t forget about the free Brunswick Bowling coupons that we posted a few weeks ago. They don’t expire until Nov. 24 and while they’re intended to be given out as Halloween treats, there’s nothing stopping you from saving a few for yourself

*NEW* Macy’s Events – Looks like Macy’s has a ton of offers on Saturday. To start, the first 100 people in the store will receive a free $10 gift card. At 11am, there will be a coolest costume contest at 11am and free face painting at the makeup counters all day long. (hopefully with scary paintings, not makeup) And finally, everybody gets a free trick-or-treat bag while supplies last.

So there you have it – all of the confirmed freebies I could find. Know of any I missed?

Updated: 02/08/2012

Over the past months, a trickle has turned into a torrent of e-mails from people telling me that X store doesn’t take printed coupons and Y store does but only if you use less than five and Z store has no limit and… you get the point. The thing is, in this example, Walmart was X, Y, and Z store!

So, I set out to see if there was a universal corporate coupon policy for any of the big name stores. I compiled the list below and began emailing corporate offices asking if they accept Internet coupons. Long story short: yes, most have an official policy and in the majority of stores, printed Internet coupons are okay.

But as I’ve hinted to, everybody seems to have a horror story of a cashier who refuses to accept the coupons and suddenly the total bill balloons. Nine times out of ten, that cashier is in the wrong and this is where a little education, planning, and hopefully this post will come in handy. If you shop regularly at any of the stores below, you might want to print out the policy and carry it around in your purse when you go shopping next!

There’s no reason for anybody to be denied savings when they’re rightfully entitled to them, especially in this economy!

A&P – Holy Mother of…A&P simply did not want to respond to my e-mails at all. But after a mere trillion messages by me, I received an e-mail with the following statement:

The internet is a powerful vehicle for getting information out to people and at the same time it is also a vehicle for false information. Unfortunately, internet coupons are not accepted in our A&P stores due to an abundance of fraudulent coupons circulating over the internet.

I know this is not the answer you and your readers want to hear at this time, but we are listening to you and other customers who are seeking alternate means of stretching their food dollars. Currently, we are working on a solution that would allow our customer’s to download coupons from the internet directly to our loyalty cards electronically. We are exploring this idea and hope to put it into fruition in the near future. I apologize for the delay in my response, as I wanted to wait until we had more information of the new clipless electronic coupon service we will be offering. We are working with an external vendor and hope to have this service available starting August 7, 2009. [ed: so...it's released now?]

So that’s kind of promising as it sounds like they’ll be rolling out their own Cellfire version within a month in the past.

Care to see the rest of the list?